Tag Archives: matthew berry

Some Stats to chew on…

Some Stats to chew on…


* The highest scoring team through 5 games is Team Vetri (4-1) with 668 points an avg of 133.6 per game
* The lowest scoring team through 5 games is Team Clark (2-3) with 466 points an avg of 93.2 per game
* The highest scored against is, yours truly, Hanging on for Life (1-4) with 701 points an avg of 140.2/game
* The lowest scored against is Team Ginexi (4-1) with 498 points an avg of 99.6/per game scored against.
* The highest individual performance was Demaryius Thomas last week with 49 points.
* The potential biggest surprises for draft pick over performing include, Steve Smith, Le’Veon Bell, Darren
Sproles and Antonio Brown.
* Some potential busts (not including injured) include Adrian Peterson, Keenan Allen, LeSean McCoy, Detroit
RB’s, Marques Colston, Cordarelle Patterson, Tom Brady & Cam Newtown.

This just underlines the point, that each week is truly a toss up and based on one players results, that alone can sway the outcome…

I write this from a position of bias. My team is solid. The second highest scoring team in the league with 634 point scored or 126.8 per game. A per game avg good enough to win 2 or 3 games with ease… but when you face Julio Jones and Matt Ryan as they team up to score 56 points on the hapless Bucs… it sways the fantasy outcome.

Or let’s say Mr. Thomas (49) scores 2 TD’s, totals over 200 yards receiving and catches 10 passes while Russell Wilson (35) runs for over 100 yards with 3 TD’s… those two players alone accounted for (84) fantasy points. That is tough to overcome, even if you have a couple players perform well.

That’s fantasy football though and its fickle. This week, someone will face off against the team that owns Drew Brees while he’s on a Bye week or A.J. Green with his busted toe or Adrian Peterson and his crimes and this may give them an opportunity to notch a win. These are the expected turns and the unexpected ricochets that fantasy football brings.

I'm a Peacock, You GOTTA LET ME FLY!!

I’m a Peacock, You GOTTA LET ME FLY!!

It’s difficult to lose some of these weeks, when going in I was certain I was coming away with a win… Brutal in a couple cases (Looking at you Mr. Rissler)

But that is fantasy football. My resolve to win is strengthened as I empty my free agent budget to hopefully finance a win or two while completely mortgaging my future away if something cataclysmic should occur… (Like losing Jimmy Graham for the season – That was a close one!)
You may make a trade that fills a perceived flaw, or stand pat as you steamroll your way to the playoffs.

This week is make or break for a few teams including, The Commish, Mrs. Commish and DRE and Dumber.

Also a clash of the titans is upon us as two 4-1 teams face off. Good luck to both Ginexi & Rissler.

So, I toast the fantasy gods and beg for mercy heading into week 6 and ask the simple question…

“Are you not entertained?!!”

** On a side note…
Let’s see a little more trash talk and some shenanigans.

A Season on the Brink. Week 3 recap & week 4 predictions * The Perspective (*w/ brief recap of week 2)

A Season on the Brink. Week 3 recap & week 4 predictions (*w/ brief recap of week 2)

It’s Kind of Good!

Sound the Alarms!!! Is it too early to start panicking if your 0-3 or 1-2?
The answer is NO! Now is a great time to start to start planning for some changes or aggressive moves. If not now… when? 0-4 could very well stand for off-season and 1-3 or 2-2 gives hope where its desperately needed.

Here are some interesting numbers from Matthew Berry at ESPN regarding the percentages of making or missing the playoffs depending on winning or losing the next weeks game.

Recapping Week 3

Just like week 2, a couple of players completely and totally wreaked havoc upon a team.
Week 2 examples Eli Manning – 49 pts & Bob Griffin3 – 42 pts (although we expect QB’s to wreak havoc, but more guys with names like Rodgers, Brady and Brees)
Reggie Bush – 39 pts
Victor Cruz – 35 pts (because it’s still so fresh)
and RB CJ Spiller with 30 pts

Week 3 Break Outs
Jamaal Charles – 46 pts(Of course I played against him. “Please keep handing the ball to Jamaal! Let’s get him 300 yards rushing!” ~ Things I may have sarcastically yelled at the television
Andy “The Ginja Ninja” Dalton – 43 pts (another QB… just not the one we expected!)
Chicago Defense – TD, TD 42 pts
A.J. Green – 35 pts
MoJo-drew – 34 pts

8 of the 10 stars above helped their respective fantasy teams reach victory! The 2 that didn’t, of course faced other teams with the other 8 players on them. The point being that most weeks, you just never know who is going to bust out or go off… but you can pretty much rest assured that they wont be from Cleveland, St. Louis or Tampa Bay.

My week 3 picks were 3 correct and 3 incorrect and after tallying the Week 2 predictions at 4-2, that leaves me at 10-8. At least I’m getting something right. Oy Vey!

In keeping in line with missing my picks on a regular basis, here is a link to Bill Simmons’ of Grantland, on his week 4 picks and some reader’s mail. Good stuff!

Week 3 game recaps are as follows;
Pounder – 144 ComebackKid – 116
Well, if my preseason prediction is correct, 9 consecutive losses should take place now and Pounder will finish the season 3-9. I’m willing to take my lumps and say, I may have called that a tad wrong. Just. A. Tad. The craziest part about the 144 points is that Pounder left 30 points on the bench by starting different players. Scary good start to the season. Harumphhh to the rookie, Mr. Clark!!
ComebackKid will be fine, but sometimes you are the bug, sometimes your the windshield… Really, any scoring day over 105 points is solid in this league, so 116 is spilled milk.

That’s One in a Row – 127 Oy Vey – 111
That is indeed 1 in a row. “Serenity Now, Serenity Now, Serenity Now!!!” ~ Things I’m saying as I write this…
Seriously, everything looked golden and I was dreaming about my 1st win of the season and how to best gloat humbly through this blog. Then Jamaal Charles slowly walked over, stared me down, reached out, ripped the still beating heart from my chest and threw it across the room. (Too much?) I kept pleading with myself as if I was talking to Kansas City’s coaches, saying things like, “What about Payton Hillis?” “What about Dwayne Bowe?” “What about Priest Holmes?” “Please take your foot off my throat Mr. Charles!” Sadly, no one was listening to the last beats of my heart as Jamaal caught another pass and took it to the house in the background, of the horrific scene…
Congrats to 1 in a row, as they get off the schneid (which reminds me… Happy Yom Kippur!)and settles in at 1-2.

Gippers Gangsters – 126 Victory Cruz – 98
A tri-fecta of players clinched this win. Bears D (42), Peyton (27)(the original) and Mike Wallace (24) scored 93 pts. A valiant effort from Cruz’s MoJo-Drew (34) but alas, not to be. That’s another newbie near the top of the league. The veteran’s of this league have officially been put on notice! The rookie’s mean business.

In-Zane in the Membrane – 115 A Stafford Infection – 100
Congrats to Danny for scoring 100 points. His team is having identity issues these days. Matt Stafford is struggling, Chris Johnson is who we thought he is, a bench warmer and possibly the earliest pick to end up on the waiver wire w/o an injury and Kevin Smith just lost his job to Mike LeShoure.
In-Zane isn’t much better, when you really break this down. Andy Dalton had a great matchup and exploited it for (46 pts) all it was worth. Reduce this to his average effort (20 pts) and its a loss. But we could play hypothetical’s all day. A win is a win!

Team A-Shift Rules – 111 Jace Invaders – 68
The worst showing since Carl Lewis or Roseanne Barr tried to sing the national anthem. It was fugly. Take away Darren McFadden’s (25 pt) effort and it sets catastrophic lows, but it only leaves Jace at 2-1, and later this season no one will remember this as more then a loss.
As for our other rookie, 3-0 and no looking back. We could use some replacement referee’s for this fantasy league!!

Team 3-peat Zalla – 98 Rodgers A-Doodle Doo – 80
Like a monkey with brain damage trying to peel a banana, this matchup was sad, comical and uplifting all at the same time! Oh, Aaron Rodgers, where art thou? 7 points, when we needed 37 points!! Alfred Morris (is that Batman’s butler??) and Andre “3000” Brown are scoring machines! I’m nervous for both these teams (let alone, my team).

Gangnam Style!

See more on Know Your Meme

See more on [URL=http://knowyourmeme.com]Know Your Meme[/URL]

Onward to the week 4 matchups and quick picks.

In-Zane (2-1) vs. Pounder (3-0)
I’m exhausted and I have no idea.
Pounder – 121 In-Zane – 119

A-Shift (3-0) vs. 3-Peat Zalla (1-2)
Matchups look too juicy!
A-shift – 133 3-Peat – 113

ComeBackKid (2-1) vs. Victory (1-2)
Another matchup mismatch.
ComeBackKid – 118 Victory – 112

Gangsters (2-1) vs. in a Row (1-2)
Upset special. I’m really just looking at player matchups this week and it seems to bode well for In A Row.
In A Row – 117 Gangsters – 97

Jace Invaders – (2-1) vs. Oy Vey (0-3)
I can’t believe I’m winless 3 weeks in. This is the week that breaks that streak!! I’m calling it = A replacement ref makes a horrible call that results in my player scoring just enought to eek out a win.
Oy Vey – 108 Jace – 107

Rodgers (1-2) vs. Stafford (0-3)
I think this week is when most of Rodgers team remembers how to play football.
Rodgers – 135 Stafford – 88

As for some players I think will do well this upcoming week…

Tom Brady and Wes Welker facing Buffalo should equal fantasy success!!

Aaron Rodgers – New Orleans defense will get discount double checked!

Alfred Morris – Kind of like this matchup against Tampa Bay for the young RB.

Adrian Peterson – faces detroit…so yeah.

Calvin Johnson
– faces Minnesota passing defense… so yeah.

Percy Harvin
– again, facing Detroit passing defense… so ummmm, yeah.

Darren McFadden – love this matchup against Denver running defense

Jamaal Charles – still on fire

Jermichael Finley
– Gets back on track against New Orleans

Ray Rice – Cleveland? Reality check. Rice should battle Arian Foster for top RB this week.

I realize most of those picks were on the surface and rather easy. So here are a few deeper picks.

Matt Ryan
– facing Carolina
Ryan Fitzpatrick – facing New England and will most likely have to play catch up in scoring
Drew Brees – Again. I realize it’s a rather easy pick, but I can see Brees having to throw 55 times to try and rally from a huge deficit.
Jacob Tamme – Oakland is weak against TE’s
Owen Daniels – Going to reign havoc on Tennessee defense. I guess no football teams in Tennessee are that good. Ouch! Too soon?
Matt Schaub – revenge for the ear ripping and its also tennessee…
Finally I think Jordy Nelson finds paydirt this weekend.

Have a great week and like Tupac once harmonized…, “Ya Got to keepa your head up!”

The Perspective – 2012 Fantasy Football – Week 1 recap & Week 2 predictions

The Perspective – 2012 Fantasy Football – Week 1 recap & Week 2 predictions

The Mascot for the SRQ 2012 Fantasy Football league

Ok, the good news is half your league won in week 1. The bad news of course, is half your league lost. If you were on the latter of the two, its not time to panic, just time to breathe and focus on week 2. Here is the link to this week’s Matthew Berry’s Love/Hate on ESPN and why, “A little perspective goes a long way!”

Week 1 had some serious let downs from some serious players including
, Wes Welker, Mike Vick, Michael Turner, Chris Johnson, Vincent Jackson, Hakeem Nicks, Eli Manning, Trent Richardson, etc, etc, etc…

But then again
, some week 1 unforeseen studs included CJ Spiller, Shonn Greene, Alfred Morris, Stevan Ridley, Michael Bush, Kevin Ogletree, Lance Moore, Robert Griffin 3 & Mark Sanchez!

So after looking at some of the regulars who grace our score sheets each week
, we see the usual suspects in Adrian Peterson, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Ray Rice, Calvin Johnson, Jimmy Graham, yada, yada, yada… the must-starts!

In week 1 contests, you just never know what your going to get as team story lines develop, new offensive schemes show themselves and another year of wear and tear on last years performers begin to show their effects.

Do we see repeat performances from the let downs?
Only a couple. Mike Vick, Chris Johnson and Trent Richardson. We wouldn’t touch these guys. I understand that CJ caught some serious passes, but as a RB, this guy has become kryptonite. After seeing Brandon Weeden play QB, I now realize there is no hope for Trent Richardson at all. Mike Vick has been in the league for 10+ seasons and he looked like a rookie throwing 4 INT’s against Cleveland. Yeccch!

Do we see repeat performances from the unforeseen stars? A couple will continue to produce. Shonn Greene, CJ Spiller, Lance Moore and Robert Griffin 3. CJ looked good. Lance will come and go with the tides or the wave of Saints offense and RG3 will eventually run into a good defense, but for now, ride these guys!

Rodgers A Doodle Doo (1-0) – 141 vs Thats One in A Row (0-1) 124
Valiant efforts from both teams, but looking at the rosters from each team, it is easy to see where this was lost. RB’s. Rashad Jennings and Jamaal Charles both underwhelmed, while the rest of the team held their own. Also, having Demaryius Thomas go off for 27 pts was HUGE, in spite of Michael Turner dropping 3 points in a blow out win. If you can’t ring up rushing yards in a bludgeoning, when can you?

Jace Invaders (1-0) 140 vs In-Zane in the Membrane (0-1) 111
We said, Jace Invaders would win the league, right? Let’s just pretend that’s what I said. After this commanding performance, I wish my predictions were in pencil and not ink/type. Jace got the one consistent Bear performer in Brandon Marshall! Cutler and Forte looked solid, but alas, the combo of Pierre Garcon and LeSean McCoy was too much for Hakeem Nicks and DeSean Jackson to contend with. I’m certainly having second thoughts about In-Zane winning the league, let alone making the playoffs. Show us something Paulie!

Team Drumseteabagger (1-0) – 134 vs Team 3-Peat Zalla (0-1) 110
Holy Crap! First Cam Newton, now Robert Griffin 3! Parisi has the golden touch on rookie QB’s! All he needed was a stout Raven’s defense and this contest was never really in doubt. Dropoffs from Antonio Gates, Peyton Hillis & Greg Jennings made for a bumpy week 1.

Gippers Gangsta’s (1-0) 119 vs A Stafford Infection!!! (0-1) 113
Welcome to the league! She comes out swinging and down goes Danny! A nail biter to the end, this was a good matchup. Peyton Manning looks fine tuned and ready to feast! A last minute switch by Danny put the Bills defense in to start which led to a (-5 pts). Now we can debate sit/starts all day long, but ultimately, you have to start Chris Johnson in week 2… right? 11 carries for 4 yards!

Team A-Shift Rules (1-0) 117 vs Team Victory Cruz (0-1) 109
Another Newbie strikes! A-Shift looks goooooood. Even their back up TE scored as much or more then 4 of Cruz’s starters. Matt Ryan was just a beast and Ray Rice made up for DeAngelo being DeAngelo.

Team Pounder (1-0) 103 vs Team My, My, My Bironas (0-1) 101
Oy Vey. Barely squeaked over 100 points. This was a train wreck matchup and it only got worse as the games dragged on. Wes Welker gets 1 point. Adrian Peterson starts over Toby Gerhart and scores 2 TD’s. Even a stinker from Beanie Wells (1 pt) and Trent Richardson (5 pts) wasnt enough to score less then Bironas. I wasn’t keen on my team at the draft, and I am beginning to loathe them now. Time to sack up.

As for WEEK 2 Matchups and predictions for SRQ 2012

Rodgers A doodle doo (1-0) vs Jace Invaders (1-0)
Solid matchup on paper. But really when you start looking at player matchups and really, the actual players, its hard not to like Jace in this one. Pretty convincingly.
Jace – 138 Rodgers – 112

Team Pounder (1-0) vs Gippers Gangsta’s (1-0)
Two undefeated rookies face off for bragging rights and to stay perfect on the season. This looks to be a close contest.
Really pouring over the roster and its a tough call. This won’t be decided until Monday night, and ultimately, we think Gippers Gangsta’s take it in a barn burner!
Gippers – 124 Pounder – 123

Team Drumseteabagger (1-0) vs A Stafford Infection (0-1)
Another really close call. I like the player matchups of Drumset better, so I pick them.
Drums – 121 Stafford – 115

Team A-Shift Rules (1-0) vs Thats One in a Row (0-1)

Again, not to sound redundant, this is too close to call on paper. Both solid teams, but alas, I like the matchups of one team better then another.
A-Shift – 138 1 In a Row – 118

Victory Cruz (0-1) vs Team My, My, My Bironas (0-1)
I think this is an easy one to call, and it pains me to do so. I think writing these recaps and predictions is going to be ugly this season if my team doesn’t do something soon!
Victory – 125 Bironas – 108

3-Peat Zalla (0-1) vs In-Zane in the Membrane (0-1)
I’m writing this after Cutler threw 4 INT’s and Forte left the game for good with a bashed up ankle, so in essence this prediction writes itself. You never know, but in this case, you kind of know.
3-Peat – 117 In-Zane – 98

For the rest of the fantasy world, some players who should go off this week, include;

Reggie Wayne – He and Andrew Luck are on the same page!

Steven Jackson – Washington defense should be solid, but Jackson should find paydirt!

Cam Newton – facing a Saints defense that just let RG3 go CRAZY on them!

Matt Ryan and Peyton Manning
– Feel like both QB’s in Monday nights game are going to score lots of points and be throwing all night!

Marshawn Lynch – takes some pressure off Russel Wilson and runs well against a porous Dallas defense

Aaron Hernandez
– in picking a TE this week, its easy to say GRONK or J-Graham, but Hernandez should lead them all.

RG3 – St. Louis defense. Enough said.

BenJarvis Green Ellis – Should exploit Cleveland defense for solid yards and a score or 2.

Matt Schaub – Havent seen his name on here for a while. HELLO Jacksonville!!!

Some quick sleepers – and potential point scoring fill-ins
Ryan Matthews – Sketchy reports coming out of camp that he might play. (See Adrian Peterson and Mojo-Drew)
Nate Washington – Kenny britt makes his way back. We think its only to free up big Nate for more catches!

Finally, some players to avoid.
I swear I wouldve put Jay Cutler on this list had I written it yesterday afternoon. I just like Clay Matthews! I didn’t see 7 sacks and 4 INTs.

Mike Vick, DeSean Jackson & Jeremy Maclin – facing the Raven’s Defense, after last weeks performance against Cleveland. I need to see these guys do WELL before I recommend them again. I just don’t see it happening this week.

Shonn Greene – look, after last week, you have to start him. Facing pittsburgh after the steelers got embarrassed by Denver last week and your playing at Heinz field. No thank you.

Chris Johnson – I’m done with him. I won’t talk about him anymore unless he proves us all wrong and delivers.

Matthew Stafford
– obviously you start Stafford. But he’s playing San Francisco in SF. They have possibly the best defense going. It’s gonna be a long afternoon.

The Perspective — Fantasy Football Players who are going to burn you in 2012

The Perspective — Fantasy Football Players who are going to burn you in 2012

I shoot from the hip.

Take it from the folks at “The League”. Fantasy Football is no laughing matter! Its more comical then that.

Unlike the fantasy football guru (Bill Barnwell at Grantland) who pours over statistics and logic to unearth amazing intricacies and nuggets of wisdom. I am not even close to this. I work 2 jobs, am consistently training for an eventual Ironman race of some kind and enjoy spending time with an amazing girlfriend who is even in one of my league’s this season! I have no doubt she will be a fierce competitor!

I enjoy assisting others to perform well in their respective fantasy football leagues, so on that note, here are some grenades (Jersey Shore Plug) to avoid in 2012.

Some of the players on this list have high upside but huge downside. Others are plagues on themselves and their teammates. T.O., we hardly knew you as a Seahawk!

Let’s just get the usual suspects out of the way early…

Kenny Britt – Made of glass. Will cost you a high draft pick. Also, seems to always be in trouble.

Sidney Rice – See Gumby and Mr. Bill. Rice is Mr. Bill. Also, true rookie QB is starter.

Marshawn Lynch – I’m not trying to pick on Seattle, but Marshawn may start the season on IR. Plus he is always in Beast Mode even at the grocery store while carrying a piece… of Smith and Wesson.

Darren McFadden – Burn me once, shame on me.

Mark Sanchez – Still Mark Sanchez. Still plays in NY. Still has very little at RB. Now has Tebow on his heels.

Tony Romo – He will have to throw, so he will get some points, but no Laurent Robinson and Miles Austin hasn’t had a good season in years. The O-line is horrendous and Romo seems to have no time to think. Avoid if possible. Eli or Rivers would be a better pick, especially since Dallas has to play NYG and Philly Defenses 4 times!

On that same note, DeMarco Murray gives me bad vibes. He is multi-talented, but I see Witten and Dez being the beneficiaries of dump-offs and hail mary’s while the running game gets stuffed.

Michael Crabtree and Randy Moss – One isn’t very good and the other isn’t very fantasy friendly.

I’ll put Peyton Manning for the obvious reasons including, neck surgeries, 36+ yrs of age and a new offense that plays 15 outdoor games with 8 in Denver, Colorado.

Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams – Maybe one gets hurt. Maybe they share the carries. Maybe Mike Tolbert sneaks into the mix. Maybe Cam Newton never hands the ball off. etc, etc, etc…

As much as it pains me to put him here due to my bias… Josh Freeman. I just don’t trust him… yet.

Rob Gronkowski – I may be the only idiot to put him here, but I think he regresses quite a bit this year. That may only mean he is on par with the JerMichael Finley’s and Tony Gonzalez’s, but still its not 2011 Gronk and thats how your drafting him.

Rashard Mendenhall – Avoid. See Redman, Dwyer.

Trent Richardson – Name the last browns RB to be good. Besides Jamal Lewis in 2007… 2 Knee surgeries, O-line is tough, Rookie QB, thin WR group… Avoid.

Chris Johnson – I have this overwhelming feeling that Chris Johnson is going the be the recent 2011 CJ and not the pre 2011 CJ. Just my gut.

Maurice Jones-Drew – Super nice guy. Rushing leader from 2011. Holdout. Same crappy offense with Blaine Gabbert, save for Justin Blackmon and Laurent Robinson (who is really not as talented as he made you believe last year).

Arian Foster – Look, he will be fantastic. He plays Jacksonville, Indy and Tennessee 6 times this season, so he’ll do fine. But so will Ben Tate. He should be drafted behind Ray Rice and LeSean McCoy.

Ronnie Brown – Most likely starter for week 1 and possibly week 2. Ryan Matthews will be back. Ronnie Brown is just not that good anymore. He will get some touches early, but upside is low.

Antonio Gates – I love me some AG. But his peak is in the rear view mirror. He is still a stud, but drafted well after Jimmy Graham, Gronk and Aaron Hernandez.

I’ll put Kevin Kolb, John Skelton, Beanie Wells, Sam Bradford, Danario Alexander and Danny Amendola on here together since they play in the same division. Too much unknown chaos and as Matthew Berry from ESPN says, “At its fundamental level, fantasy football is all about minimizing risk and giving yourself the best odds to win.”

Victor Cruz – I understand he was great last year and extremely affable. He will not duplicate last season’s numbers. See DeSean Jackson for a recent example.

Andre Johnson – He is hurt every season. Why would this season be any different? Being drafted way too early. Big upside but huge downside.

Frank Gore. Again it pains me to write this, because Gore has been a FF point machine for me in the past, but he is well past his expiration date as he has been ridden hard.

I hope that helps. Have a great season!!

Week 17 — The Super Bowl of Fantasy Football — ‘The Perspective’ — Also a couple of good pickups for the Final Game!

Week 17 — The Super Bowl of Fantasy Football — ‘The Perspective’ —

Also a couple of good pickups for the Final Game!

That Megatron is one piece of arse!

Look, if your league is actually still playing or trying to squeeze every last drop of fantasy football goodness from this season, then more power to you, but you’ve got your work cut out for yourself.

I’m in a 2 week cumulative semifinal and championship league and, yes, I am in the championship (looks directly into mirror and comments how, “doggone it, people like me!”)

Week 1 Final
My Team
(Kitten’s and Bubbles)
96 points

her team
Team Voo Doo Nation
75 points

So I’m leading by 21 points heading into this week…

Her Roster
QB – Eli Manning
RB – Ray Rice
RB – Ryan Matthews
FLX- Frank Gore
WR – Torrey Smith
WR – Denarius Moore
TE – Antonio Gates
K – Mason Crosby
DEF- 49ers

My Roster
QB – Timmy Tebow
RB – Michael Bush
RB – Toby Gerhart (I did have Adrian Peterson, but such is Fantasy Football!)
FLX- Khalil Bell
WR – Calvin Johnson
WR – Nate Washington
TE – Jared Cook
K – John Kasay
DEF- Steelers

Some good pickups for the final game…
Khalil Bell
CJ Spiller
Kyle Orton
Jared Cook
Brent Celek
Toby Gerhart
Dustin Keller

Here is some knowledge being dropped by the man himself, MR. TMR, Matthew Berry, whom I follow, but use as a catalyst, not a bible.

Fantasy Football 2011-2012 ** Players to avoid drafting.

Fantasy Football 2011-2012 ** Players to avoid drafting.

We just have this uncomfortable feeling about these players, whether based on anomalies in their previous season or other factors, such as poor offense, brutal schedule, injury history, crazy & unpredictable coaches or the simple fact that the player still owes me money in our failed Falafel/Car Wash Endeavor.

In no particular order;


Braylon Edwards, WR – Remember Al Pacino in Devil’s Advocate when he reveals himself to be the devil. Braylon allows us those little glimpses each season, and yet, somehow, mercifully, someone will draft this Gibroni.

Cedric Benson, RB – Schedule looks good until division matchups (Ravens & Steelers), but Oh, Andy Dalton. I see 8 defenders in the box, daring the Bungles to throw the ball, most of the season.

Jay Cutler, QB – Holy Cavallari! Offensive line looks dismal, wide receivers improved by getting Roy Williams. I can barely type, I’m laughing so hard!! Schedule is brutal tough. @ NO, @ TB & @ Philly to name a few.

Everyone on Seattle – (I want to exclude Marshawn Lynch here, but I don’t trust him) I may take a flyer on Marshawn in a later round due to the division (49ers & Rams Defenses are better then you think). Tavaris Jackson stats will look something like 7-28 for 178 yds, 1 TD, 3 INT and 38 yds Rushing. Mmmm… Seahawk tastes like chicken.

Alright, those names are similar to hitting a baseball off a tee. Let’s move on to some bigger hunches.

Chris Johnson, RB – I see another off year for this guy. Contract Holdout, Matt Hasselbeck as QB, play Ravens & Steelers and their division is getting better with Indy, Houston & Jax. He will be solid, but maybe not top 7 RB. Be wary.

Reggie Wayne, WR – Look, Peyton’s neck concerns (Maybe Kerry Collins or Jim the painter throwing the rock for a while), improved division. More safety valves and WR mouths to feed. I just see a down year for ol’ faithful.

Michael Turner, RB – I think “The Burner” will be solid, but he will lose some handoffs to strong backups. I do like the later part of schedule, but I just feel like our falafel idea would have done better if he would’ve taken it more serious.

All RB’s in the AFC East, except for Miami. And realistically, probably Miami as well. Timeshares are for retired elderly folks in Myrtle Beach, SC… Not for our backfields and this division is rife with them, like black mold in your drywall. NE has 17 RB’s, Buffalo can’t make up its mind & NY Jets have pesky LT snagging TD’s away from Shonn greene. AVOID.

Darren McFadden, RB – Just pure speculation here, but I see an early DMC injury negatively affecting his season. Michael Bush is a strong bench guy.

Matt Cassel, QB – This guy makes me drink Pepto-Bismal likes its H2o. In their division, he is a rockstar, but outside of it… Yikes. 2nd half of season, schedule looks bad. Real bad.

Finally, I’m going to say, Mike Vick. I think this season, he returns to earth a bit. I know, he is a popular pick and rightfully so. The eagles are stacked, play in a so-so division and Vick was golden last season. I am biased and will probably never trust Vick, to; #1. Make it through a season, healthy. #2. Reduce turnovers #3. Make better decision then previous season. I think Vick will be a strong pick and score many points, but I can see him finishing outside the top 3 QB’s and he is going as a #1 or #2 in most drafts.

If you think I left an obvious name off this list, or think I’m leaning more Charlie Sheen/Michael Lohan then Trent Dilfer/Matthew Berry, let me hear from you.

Week 15 Fantasy Football Predictions, Angels & Demons and Sleepers. Updated 12/18

Week 15 Fantasy Football Predictions, Angels & Demons and Sleepers.



Week 15 Fantasy Football Predictions, Angels & Demons and Sleepers.

Chances are, if your actually reading this, then your still “alive” in your fantasy football playoffs. For me I am still in the playoffs for all 3 of my teams, which is amazing in its own special way. Last week was so explosive in that many usual suspects that deliver steady performances either dropped off or dropped dead. Either way, those players ended a lot of fantasy seasons last week.
I had Aaron Rodgers on one of my teams, but fortunately that is a 2 week round format and I also have Arian Foster and Malcolm Floyd & Jason Witten. It certainly helps to have a solid overall lineup and not face a team with a Darren McFadden or Matt Schaub.

Anyhow, as we look ahead at week 15 we can’t help get the phrase “Don’t get cute here” or our take, “Don’t outsmart yourself, as you were obviously dumb enough to get yourself this far.” So subbing in Mike Goodson against Arizona for Adrian Peterson facing the Chicago Bears is the definition of “Getting Cute” or “Too Smart for your own good”. Ask yourself who got you to where you are right now? Names like Drew Brees, Peyton Hillis, Roddy White, Jason Witten & the NYG defense should resonate through your empty head right about now.

That seems like a good segue to visit our ANGELs we believe will lead you to the promised land this week. *One final time* I won’t be placing obvious names on this list or at least too many obvious names. Some will seem obvious but have a perplexing matchup or dynamic to their game. (i.e. – Greg Jennings is a must start, but he might have Matt Flynn throwing to him & same goes for Larry Fitzgerald and John Skelton) Just Saying.


SRQ 2010 Champion

Week 15 – ANGELS

Jay Cutler – We think he redeems himself somewhat this week against Minnesota. After the debacle at home this past week against NE, he can only go up, and we think the Bears recall they have a good RB as well. OY Vey. How this team leads their division is mind boggling. Its like Jacksonville. Minus 3 last play insane endings, they are 5-8. The Jags have been outscored by their opponents by 36 points. At least Chicago is 4-0 in their division. We think Cutler solidifies the Bears hold on the division this week. UPDATE – This game is taking place on the Frozen OUTDOOR Tundra of Minnesota Gohpers stadium. We will Pass on Cutler in the nasty weather instead of a climate controlled cushy dome. Instead look for Josh Freeman here.

Jon Kitna – Should have a solid week against a fluid Washington Redskins Defense who although they looked solid last week at home, will have less in the tank at Dallas this week. We think Kitna delivers a little special something under your tree.

Adrian Peterson – If Tavaris starts, Adrian is most likely affected negatively, but then you whisper to yourself, “Its ALL-DAY Peterson” and you remember he is a must start, because… “Did Adrian peterson get me here?” You bet your sweet patutie he did, even if the weather sucks, he is scratched up. UPDATE – I consider Peterson the F-150 of Running Backs.
Matt Forte – He does face Minnesota Run defense which is no laughing matter. But he can catch, and since we are on board for Cutler, we think Forte gets that secondary love.
LaGarrette Blount – Off the Sleeper list! Against Detroit, he should do work. Get past Suh and he should break the goal line.
Jonathan Stewart – Faces Arizona defense that loves to allow running yards to opposing RB’s. Should do well this week.
Ryan Torain – He is the guy, whatever that means in Washington. Your playing with fire here and you’ve been warned. He could be 1 of 3 things this week. A solid performer with 100+ and a score, a whelming kind of RB 60+/- yds with no score or lose you your championship by losing carries to Keiland and Davis. Good luck with that. UPDATE – A little nicked up, but still after last weeks performance, he must start, especially with Grossman as the QB, although look for 8 in the box.

Dwayne Bowe – But ONLY if Matt Cassel starts this week. If Brodie is under center, drop it like its hot, which may be D-Bowe’s motto when Brodie throws him the rock. Evidenced by the last 2 weeks ZERO points. UPDATE – We are sketchy on this pick to begin with. Even if Cassel makes it back, the Chiefs are going to run at least 60% of the time. You’ve been warned.
Miles Austin – Kitna is going to throw as Garrett wants to win and try to secure the head coaching gig. Who else is going to catch these passes, Ogletree? Martellus? I don’t think so. UPDATE – Dez is out, Roy Williams is Questionable leaving Austin. May have double coverage, but we can see 5 catches for 80 and a score.
Wes Welker – If you own him, your already starting him, but against a stout Green Bay defense that is going to be on the field a lot longer then usual, as unsure if Matt Flynn starts for GB at QB and they seem to have no running attack even though they have 6 RB’s. Welker goes to his happy place…the slot. (Insert crude joke here.)
Pierre Garcon – He got moved from our sleeper list to our ANGELS list. Its like going from the practice squad to the starting lineup. In Pierre we trust!
Mike Williams & Mike Williams 2.0 – Both WR’s have good matchups this week, but more importantly, if Mike Williams 2.0, the grunge version plays as he almost did this past week, he should have the better day. Tampa Bay has a few weapons like Winslow, Benn, Cadillac catching out of the backfield, where Seattle has squadooosh!

Jason Witten – He will produce this week against TE friendly Washington… lets say 9-12 points.
Browns DST & Patriots DST – Solely on matchups. Browns face Cincinnati and Pats face GB with Rodgers…Maybe.


talladega_nights - Shake n' Bake

The Usual Suspects wont be on here. Just some new players who will break your heart and leave you out of the money and reeling.
Matt Hasselbeck – Especially if Mike Williams comes back. They will need MW to replace Deon Butler who is out. Its now or never for Hasselbeck. We thinks never.

Joe Flacco – New Orleans is sneaky good on defense and the team is firing on almost all cynlinders. Baltimore might find tough conditions, even at home. Ray Rice might represent, but we think Flacco leaves a bit to be desired.
Ryan Fitzpatrick – Facing a surprisingly stout Miami Defense isn’t a situation we want our Fitzy involved in. UPDATE – Fitzy is looking a little better as every additional QB for other teams is ruled out, game-time decision or placed on IR/bench…. i.e. McNabb we are looking at you and Cassel.
Mark Sanchez – Facing Pittsburgh defense and he seems to have forgotten how to actually play football. He is the next Joe Namath though, allegedly. UPDATE – Troy Polamalu is out for this game, so Sanchez’s stock just rose a point.
Drew Stanton – Its Drew Stanton. Even though Tampa Bay is banged up on defense, I just don’t believe in Stanton. UPDATE – Drew is looking a little better as every additional QB for other teams is ruled out, game-time decision or placed on IR/bench…. i.e. McNabb we are looking at you and Cassel.
Tavaris Jackson – Even with the weapons this guy is given… AP, Sidney Rice and maybe Percy Harvin, he will underwhelm for your team. UPDATE – Jackson is on IR and out for the year. Favre is crusty and most likely out, so Volcano Joe Webb has been named the starter. Just close your eyes and imagine the name above is Joe Webb versus Tavaris.
Kyle Orton – Even though they are playing Oakland. The vaunted Oakland passing defense is a legend of yesteryear. I.E. – Jacksonville and Pittsburgh and San Diego I vs Oakland. I rest my case. WARNING * Orton is a risky play, but you already knew that. UPDATE – Orton might not play much if at all. Tebow has taken the majority of first team snaps.
LeSean McCoy – I jumped on his bandwagon for the first time about 4 weeks ago. I’m officially jumping back off. I see nothing but bad fantasy performance here. I’m probably biased and he will catch 6 for 80 with a score, but in my gut, i think he goes for closer to 8 to 12 points..total. The only things named “Le” are “LeCar” and “LeCreuset” (which is a plate maker) and the infamous “Pontiac LeMans”.
Cedric Benson – Look. If you can’t help yourself, I certainly cannot help you. If you find yourself in the semi-finals or championship and you are contemplating using Cedric Benson, do yourself a favor and just send me your next season’s leagues’ dues in a check to my work address. I’ll gladly take your donation for the advice I give. I’m the Madame Cleo of Fantasy Football jibberish.
Rashad Jennings – I understand he has a TD in three straight games and he is facing the Colts non-existent run defense. Please tell me you’ve heard of Mojo (aka – Maurice Jones-Drew). If not, please spend the next 3 hours quietly meditating on how you ever made it this far. Rashad may get some carries and he may accumulate some yards, but we just don’t see 4 in a row for this backup.

Steve Johnson – Hello #1 WR coverage. I think Cameron Wake will be so far up Ryan Fitzpatrick’s posterior that Fred Jackson will get more targets then Steve Johnson.
Anquan Boldin – Derrick Mason better get this guy a nice watch or a gold chain with the trinket of “Decoy” on it. ‘Quan will draw top coverage against stingy New Orleans and others will grow fat and happy.
Hines Ward – Don’t trust him this week against pissed off Jets defense. Plus, Roethlisberger has looked banged up as well. Its gonna be a lot of Heath Miller & Rashard Mendenhall. UPDATE – Likely to be sipping Mojitos on Revis Island this weekend.
Antonio Gates – Chances are he won’t be playing much if at all, and even if he does play next week or the week after, you won’t care by then. I’m sure that you, like me, have eaten up a deserved roster spot in hopes that AG makes it back, but just like in Old Yeller, its time to grab the gun and take Gates out back. “Thanks for always being there, doc.” <— points if you know the movie this quote is from. Let me know on Twitter at @seandreznin
Packers DST – We are down this defense ONLY if Aaron Rodgers is OUT. If A-Rod plays then start GB Def.
Olindo Mare – Been on a downward point slide for the past 3 weeks and facing an Atlanta juggernaut doesn’t make this very attractive.




Kerry Collins – With Chris Johnson in the backfield and Kenny Britt back and of course everyone’s favorite “Decoy”, Randy Moss loitering about 5 yards off the line of scrimmage, we see a solid fantasy effort here.
Colt McCoy – If he starts (He is the confirmed Starter for the remainder of the season (12/16/)) then he is a sleeper against Cincy Defense.
Tim Hightower – If you need a filler RB, you could do worse. Last week was a gift, this week could be similar. Enjoy it while it lasts… two weeks from now he could be fumbling 3 times and Beanie to the rescue!
Javarris James – I put him on here again, because if he gets you 8-10 points, are you going to complain?

One borrowed sleeper, is this. Either Louis Murphy or Jacoby Ford (whomever does not draw Champ Bailey). May the force be with you.
Sidney Rice – He’s back and this time he brought Tavaris! Oy. Still he’s solid.
Kenny Britt – He’s got his boy Collins making it rain down on him, not R.Kelly style, more Pacman Jones style. Moving on.
Vincent Jackson – Keep up with the practice/injury reports, but if he goes, he should deliver some points. (12/17 UPDATE – BOOM! Nailed it! Too bad I had a Christmas party and left Malcolm Floyd in on one team = ZERO DNP) GRINCH!

Bo Scaife & Owen Daniels – Its all about the QB in one case, and reclaiming a starting gig on a high powered 2nd half offense.

Dallas DST / Dolphins DST / Oakland DST – All Matchup based guesses.

As for our SRQ 2010 league predictions.

Here goes the quick breakdown:

In the 9th place game;
TEBOW – 99 vs. HOT TUB – 70

In the 7th place matchup;
Calvin & Da Munks – 119 vs. Rooster – 117

In the 5th place contest;
BenBowski – 101 vs. Team RC – 121

In the 3rd place, Runner Up Game;
Cassel Fit for a King – 78 vs. Manning & Rivers, Inc. – 119

Finally, in the Battle Royale, Season 2 Conquest….

A Cool Winters Brees (11-3) Highest scoring team in league


Team EV’s All-Stars (10-4) Winners of 8 in a row

Looking at each teams rosters we notice that most players have nice matchups, which could result in a real slug it out points fest!
So much depends on weather conditions and little variables but the bottom line is this. Based on the projected season long averages, ESPN has Brees winning 142-120 over EV.

We call it a touch closer. 134 – 127 with the crown going to….



…We’ll just have to play it out and see who the winning team is.

Insane Trophy for Champion - Ricky Bobby Style

Good luck to all teams and its been a hell of a season. We have some things to iron out for next season, but I would also suggest some fun additions as well. Maybe a ridiculous trophy and/or presentation, a punishment for the worst team, cash prizes for things like most points scored all season/ in a game / etc, etc, etc… All in all, a lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed it as well, and let me know if you’d like to see more of something or less of something in these write ups.


WEEK 12 Fantasy Football Recap, Week 13 Predictions and Angels & Demons section



WEEK 12 Fantasy Football Recap, Week 13 Predictions and Angels & Demons section.

I just finished reading a great piece by Matthew Berry, titled, “A Requiem to Leslie Nielsen” and it does both Mr. Nielsen, Lt. Frank Drebin and The Talented Mr. Roto proud..

I would love to expound on the article, but I would be afraid to spoil its wit & depth.

airplane leslie nielsen

airplane leslie nielsen

So, I guess for now, I will go back to my 3rd grade level writing skills and try to color between the lines.

Week 12 Predictions & Prognostications

Manning & Rivers, inc. – 145 Rooster – 101

ACTUAL SCORE – Rooster – 125 M&R, Inc – 70 – Ouch!

Cassel Fit for a King – 122 Calvin & Da Munks – 121 – If Dwayne Bowe starts, Calvins total points go to 123 and we have a winner!

ACTUAL SCORE – Calvin – 139 Cassel – 105 – Dwayne Bowe to the Rescue!

So Fresh & So Clean – 149 Team RC – 148 I can’t believe I’m picking against RC again. Last time, they dropped 161 points on our pointy heads!

ACTUAL SCORE – So Fresh – 116 Team RC – 76 – Revenge is best served cold!

Throwing in the Towelie – 123 Can I get a Hot Tub – 99 If TITT gets a Defense he adds another 10 points to the totals!

ACTUAL SCORE – Toweling off – 124 Hot Tub – 90 – He got a Defense!!

Big Benbowski – 129 Team EV’s All-Stars – 111 This is the week that EV hits the wall in the sense that Bowski brings the Hammer. Not his crime fighting cohort The Hebrew Hammer, but the metophorical hammer that pounds a nail in the 5 game winning streak coffin. Harsh. I know.

ACTUAL SCORE – EV – 120 BB – 83 How could I pick against EV…again!

3-2 this week and 18-17 for the season. Yeccchhhh!

Our quick take on this past week.
(dev·as·tat·ed, dev·as·tat·ing, dev·as·tates)
1. To lay waste; destroy.
2. To overwhelm; confound; stun

This can sum up a lot of teams seasons In our league.

Devastating Injuries – (I.e.- Ryan Grant, Tony Romo, DeAngelo Williams (I guess), Frank Gore, Matthew Stafford, Kevin Kolb, etc, etc…)

This word can also sum up expected performances coming up a little short – (I.e. – DeAngelo Williams & Jonathan Stewart, Brett Favre, Ray Rice, Matt Schaub, Larry Fitzgerald, Randy Moss, Brandon Jackson, etc, etc….)

The other description where I think DEVASTATION fits well, is the feeling all other team owners have in not picking up certain players who were available to them on the Auction Waiver. Its one stage of Devastation if you bid too low, because YOU KNEW that this certain player would be good, but its insult to injury if you needed a player and didn’t bid on these Zombies (risen from the grave and now wreaking Havoc) = (Mike Vick, Peyton Hillis, Mike Williams (TB), (Its killing me that I dropped Dwayne Bowe on Sept 15th, but he sucked Donkey Balls for 5 weeks till blowing up!!!) & Steve Johnson)

So moving away from negative thoughts, we take a look at our Angels & Demon picks from last week (Smacks Hand to Forehead) FUGLY.

Predicted Angels…

Mike Tolbert did work.

NYJ’s – I said the defense and Mark Sanchez! Double Score!

Eli Manning did well against Jax.

Peyton Hillis – 3 td’s = Fantasy Goodness!

Finally, Ray Rice ran and caught his way to a good Fantasy Day…

Now onto the carnage, which is aplenty!

Frank Gore = Broken Hip, out for season.

Chris Johnson = Zero Fantasy Points against Houston’s 32nd ranked defense. Rusty Smith’d!

Sidney Rice = No Favre Turnovers = No Favre Touchdowns…

Peyton Manning was terrible…again. 4 INTS!

Sorry, I just call em’ like I see em. Obviously, Chris Johnson & Peyton are must starts each week until otherwise notified of horrific injury.

As for this weeks ANGELS & DEMONS section… Here we go.

Arian Foster – He can run, He can catch and he is going to need to do more catching then running, because of two things. #1. Philly may be up big. Quickly. #2. Matt Schaub is gonna have Eagle Wings in his face all day and dump off passes to a talented RB look good!

Mike Vick against Houston D. Unless Vick removes a mask and reveals himself to be Rusty Smith, then expect big points here.

Matt Cassel against Denver Defense – I can see the RB duo getting a lot of work here and maybe taking some points away from Cassel.

Eli Manning against Washington Skins D.

Peyton Manning after one of the worst performances of his career and this season against a porous Dallas Defense. This could get ugly. Someone is gonna see stars. Deh-vuh-Stay-Shun!
If Adrian Peterson is 80% or better he gets MAD points against Buffalo!

Sam Bradford at Arizona – Give me a break!

Matt Hasselbeck against Carolina. At Home. Hasselbeck to Obomanu all day!!!

Mike Turner against TB Run Defense. Oy Vey!

Matt Forte against Detroit Defense. OY OY VEY!

If Chris Johnson can’t make last weeks ZERO performance up to his owners against Jax, then obviously Rusty Smith is his QB. If Kerry is starting, CJ should vindicate himself!

Stephen Jax is huge in Japan!

Jay Cutler has a nice matchup against Detroit.

We like Todd Heap as a serviceable TE against Pitt D.

If I don’t put Dwayne Bowe on this list by now, I am not worth the paper this is typed on. Typed?

Unless its snowing in Green Bay, Aaron Rodgers is gonna pick apart 49ers all day.

Jamaal Charles vs. Denver defense = Yep.

LT vs. NE defense on Monday Night = Yep Yep.

Peyton Hillis against Miami Defense = Yep Yep Yeppers!

I’m betting that Sidney Rice doesn’t call it a comeback and brings the pain. Same goes for Nate Washington but only if he scrubs the Rusty out and gets himself some Kerry Collins, otherwise its best to sit him.

Now for some DEMONS! MUAH!

Stay away from Andre Johnson – start him of course, unless you have better options. But against Philly in Philly with cold weather. Yipes!

I feel silly saying OchoCinco, but yeah, go ahead and put ol’ #85 on the “We’re down on him” list.

LaGarrette Blount. If you have another option, use it, if not, he will be solid but nothing fancy, like TD’s or large long fantasy point rich runs.

Its completely just a gut feeling, but the AFC West has been so wacky and weekly up, down and impossible to predict that we think Kyle Orton falls on the dissappointment side of Angels & Demons. We see him in purgatory this week. He shant be throwing 4 td’s this week.

Fred Jackson against Minnesota Run Defense. Stay Away. Keep in mind Fred can catch and its his backfield, so Fitzy will be dumping off passes all day.

Donovan McNabb against an angry NYG defense. Stay Away!

Joe Flacco faces Pittsburgh. I’m not sure how much more you really need to read.


CASSEL – 124 TYNES – 122

EV – 130 CALVIN – 127 This time, even (Say it fast) (“A Beautiful Colorful Dwayne Bowe”) can’t get them a win.

RC – 101 BB – 99

* TEBOW – 119 M&R – 113

* ROOSTER – 122 HOT TUB – 106

* We are predicting 6-6 ROOSTER wins & 7-5 M&R loses thereby deferring to total season points scored and our prediction of the 4th and final playoff team is ROOSTER.

HAPPY CHANUKAH and Have a Great Week! Surely, Remember to check your rosters as we have another Thursday game! I will most certainly check my roster and don’t call me Shirley.

Dreznin Swagger

Fantasy Football Week 11 Predictions and Prognostications



Fantasy Football Week 11 Predictions and Prognostications

Ron Burgundy: I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone: Really.
Ron Burgundy: People know me.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, I’m very happy for you.
Ron Burgundy: I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Well, after the complete beat down performed by record setting Team RC (161 team points), I am going to ease into this weekly Angels & Demons section. Dip a toe in the water, if you will.

My Angels for this week.
Drew Brees against Seattle after a Bye Week. I’ll take 2 scoops! Shaun Hill against a Dallas Defense that gives out touchdowns to opposing QB’s, like Jehovahs Witnesses give out flyers on the Boardwalk.

Carson palmer grow his vulture wings and feast off the carcass of Buffalo whether they win a nail biter or get demolished. I think it’s a nail biter and Carson throws some INT’s along with TD’s.
Peyton Hillis should DO WORK against run friendly Jags D.

Rashard Mendenhall against Oakland Run D. Yesssss Sir! Calvin aka MEGATRON Johnson against Dallas Defense… See Shaun Hill notes above.

Peyton Manning (The original Peyton or the O.P.) against porous NE Pats D. Same old Peyton! LaGarette Blount against 49ers. Normally Bucs don’t do well on West Coast, but I think this new regime has completely shaken any old curses.

Matt Cassel vs. Phoenix Redbirds. Advantage Cassel. Dez Bryant seems to like his hazings doled out by Kitna and there will be blood. Lions blood. As Dez should go off.

Kyle Orton against San Diego equals FF goodness! Larry Fitzgerald is ripe to devour this week.

Aaron Rodgers against Minnesota seems like as good a way as any to come back after a refreshing bye week. We think the rest did the Mustachioed Rodgers good. Mark Sanchez gets the Houston Texans worst ranked defense to come to town. Are you kidding me? He is gonna do work.

Flacco versus Carolina Kitties who are starting a 3rd string RB, and a 4th string QB. Flacco will be pulled by the 3rd qtr as the Ravens will be ahead by 30 pts.
MoJo Drew is going to have a good day catching the ball against surprisingly good run defense in Cleveland.

Tom Brady is going to have to throw a lot against Indy high octane offense in this matchup. Kind of iffy on Sam Bradford. He will probably get double digits in FF points but were are guessing low teens as Atlanta is a solid defense and his WR corp is thin.

Fool us once, shame on you, Fool us twice and we suck. David Garrard is going to throw all day on Cleveland and light the Cuyahoga back on Fire! Jon Kitna will have a decent day against Detroit, although I fathom he may have the paw print of SUH on his helmet by the time this game is over.
I can only pick two players off RC’s roster so I’m done, but I am staring longingly with a crush as her roster is stacked! Gonna be another good week.

Demons include;

Is Dustin Keller really going to drop another stinker on us, even against “It’s your offenses birthday” Texans D? If he does, he will find himself surfing the wire.

Is this the week Mike Vick gets stopped, throws an INT, is discovered to have sent Brett Favre a text? We think the NYG’s game plan a bit better and maybe a slipup here or there for Vick but all in all not too bad. Pierre Garcon on the other hand… We have no words….Oh yeah, I guess we do… CATCH THE BALL!

Matt Schaub at the Jets. Oh Lawd have Mercy. Stay Away. Schaub is toast this year and other then an easy game peppered in too make you forget how terrible he has been, the stink grows.
We think Adrian Peterson has a tough go of things this week facing a rested, stingy Packers Defense.

We are down on Ahmad Bradshaw, although we think he does ok because of his pass catching skills, but its going to be tough running, unless Philly repeats and Bradshaw grosses points in garbage time.
Big Ben against Oakland. Im getting queasy just thinking about this one. Ben seems shaky as he has underperformed in his last few games and although this looks to be a fantasy point rich matchup, maybe in the run dept, but not the pass.

Screw it. LeSean McCoy because I hate him. Loathe him. He is the debbil. We asked this question last week and the answer was, surprisingly “NO!” If Cedric Benson hasn’t produced yet, he has to against the RB friendly defense of 1-8 Buffalo, right?

Mike “Turner the Burner” against surprising ST. Louie D and Brandon Jacobs against Philly.. NO to both…. NO X 2.… No Squared…. Nyet…
Unsure about Steven Jackson against ATL D. We’ll hedge our bets and say minimal performance.


CALVIN & DA MUNKS – 135 M&R, INC. – 121


HOT TUB – 111 TEAM EV – 109

TEAM RC – 126 BLEEDING – 106

Mike McDermott: “Fold or hang tough. Call or raise the bet. These are decisions you make at the table. Sometimes the odds are stacked so clear there’s only one way to play it. Other times, like holding a small pair against two over cards, it’s six to five, or even money, either way. Then it’s all about feel, what’s in your guts.“

From Anchorman!
Brian Fantana: [about Veronica] I’ll give this little cookie an hour before we’re doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
[opens cologne cabinet]
Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard’s Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne… It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.

I realize now, through your vigil and vitriol filled letters that I am not Matthew Berry but kind of like a Tall Bill Simmons, which is flattering like calling a small Killer Whale a Porpoise. It hurts bro, it hurts. Have a good week, and good luck to all the athletes competing in Ironman Arizona! Go Sarasota Storm!

Fantasy Football Week 10 Predictions & Prognostications – Fantasy Angels & Demons!

Matthew Berry via twitter image

Matthew Berry via twitter image

Fantasy Football Week 10 Predictions & Prognostications – Fantasy Angels & Demons!

I am not Matthew Berry. I do not get compensation for writing this. I am not famous by way of my full-time career at ESPN. I do not have a receding hairline. No one emails me hate mail about my Angels & Demons section. I am not all that good at Fantasy Football.

Now, I can see you shaking your head in disagreement and exclaiming, “ But Sean, your all alone in first place at 7-2 and have not scored under 100 fantasy points in any week, so this must mean you are the best, Ever!” I can clearly see you saying that. Clearly. But alas, thanks to some well timed performances and mostly correct choices in who to start and who to sit, my team has somehow risen to the top, for now.

Just like the NFL this season, our fantasy league is ripe with parity, and to prove this point.
* EV’s All-stars = (5-4) overall on a 3 game win streak. Look good to make it 4 this week!
* 3rd highest scoring team in the league, Hot Tub (4-5) sits in sixth place and each week rides on Aaron Rodgers Mustachioed shoulders
* Stop the Bleeding (3 consecutive losses) is 3-0 playing imaginary “away games” the only undefeated Road team
* Team Hot Tub is the only winless team playing on their imaginary “Home Field” 0-4
* Hasselbeck Girl has not scored less then 100 points…ever. Just Saying. 6 straight wins!
* Calvin & Da Munks have dropped 4 in a row.
* Its like trying to read the stars in predicting winners and losers each week, save for, Hassel beck & Calvin.
* Bottom line. This league is all about QB’s. Even if you RB or WR goes bezerk. (I.e. – T.O. or DeSean or Hakeem Nicks or Michael Turner or Darren McFadden) If your QB’s suck squirrel giblets, then your team is doomed. (CSI Results – Schaub & Henne/Kolb (both starters now benchwarmers))

So using that segue of parity, we delve into this weeks matchups. Now we do have the benefit of Thursdays games already having been played, and we can’t pretend we covered our eyes. Much love to Roddy & Matty Ice! (P.S. – Matty Ice says “Hi” from the bench!) Flacco & Boldin get some props as well.

Trying to keep this somewhat mainstream for people to actually use and still keeping it tied to our league as well, I am going to pick a couple of Fantasy Angels & a couple of Fantasy Demons. Players (Angels) we think will deliver the Fantasy goods this week include;

constantine angel

constantine angel

Hasselbeck Girl vs. Team RC
Arian Foster & Roddy White (31 pts) See, I told you I cheated! Arian Foster versus Jaguars D. D stands for Delicious!
David Garrard vs. Houston & Jahvid Best versus Buffalo – Garrard by default of playing worst passing defense & if Jahvid is ever going to have a good game, this logically, has to be the one. Right?

EV’s All-Stars vs. M & R, Inc.
Josh Freeman & Mojo should DO WORK. Freeman faces Carolina Kitties & Mojo faces Houston in what should be a shoot out. Lots of juicy points to go around in that game. P.S. – Flacco already dropped 23 golden nuggets on ATL. Nice Job Wacco!
Peyton Manning is who we thought he was. The Bucs Defense will score some points this week, fo sho.

Stop the Bleeding vs. Calvin & Da Munks.
Sam Bradford against SF 49ers looks a lot better then Tom Brady vs. Pitts D. So we hypothesize Bradford does decent. Steve Smith and Brandon Jacobs should both be able to feast on the Dallas Cowboys rotting carcass. As for Da Munks, Calvin Johnson facing Buffalo, Rashard Three Mendenhall & a Baby against Patriots & T.O. battling Indy (we think Cincy will be down big and that means more garbage time FF points for Carson & T.O., should bring the pain. BRING THE PAIN!

Scoring Early and Austin vs. Can I Get a Hot Tub?


What my dreams look like!

This week could be another ridic performance for Eli Manning & Ahmad Bradshaw, facing the aforementioned bloated and stinky corpse which is America’s Team,.. Ladies and Gentlemen, Jon Kitna and your Dallas Cowboys. At least they have tremendous cheerleaders. We also think Jacob Tamme brings the Shammy and a boatload of points as Cincy’s corners are halfway decent, so dump off passes to Tamme seem like a good bet. For Hot Tub, Jamaal Charles versus Denvers Run D and Mike Sims-Walker against previously mentioned Houston Pass D should reap HUGE rewards fantasy point wise. We also like the Giants D against the poor, poor Cowboys.

tt cheerleaders

What my dreams look like!

The Big Benbowski vs. Team Rooster
We like us some Big Ben this week. Lately he has been a little rusty in Fantasy point regards, but this week he makes it up to his owners. Also the WR’s Hakeem Nicks (basically all the NY Football Giants) and Larry Fitzgerald against Seattle (now that Breaston is marginally healthy). (P.S. – As previously mentioned, Matt Ryan was left on the bench as he dropped (32 pts) on Baltimore. Oy Vey. For Rooster, Carson palmer & Thomas Jones should have solid days and we like Visanthe Shiancoe as Percy Harvin is dealing with headaches again and Sidney Rice is probably a no go this week. Favre has to throw 40 times to someone. Might as well be Shaincoe.

One loser (Demon) from each teams matchup, include;

Demons Section

Demons Section

Hasselbeck Girl vs. Team RC
Brett Favre against one of the best pass defenses this year in Chicago and slim receiving corp. Ouch.
Jon Kitna at the NYG. OMG. He is gonna be buried next to Hoffa by the time this game is over, even if its played on turf. Sack City, USA.

EV’s All-Stars vs. M & R, Inc.
The Ravens Defense. (3 pts) Seriously, we really like EV’s All-stars this week, so we would have picked the D. Just Saying.
Colt McCoy against the NYJ Defense. Look, Colt has been more impressive then anyone could ask, against the Steelers, Saints & Patriots (2 wins BTW), but 3 out of 4 just seems like too much too ask. Just Saying.

Stop the Bleeding vs. Calvin & Da Munks.
Screw it. Michael Turner (3 pts) against Baltimore Run D. Easy pick.
Unsure how Donovon reacts this week, with benching but facing former team on Monday night. So we assume he performs solid and instead pick surprise failure from Matt Schaub, just because we think Arian Foster runs wild and Schaub throws a couple INT’s.

Scoring Early and Austin vs. Can I Get a Hot Tub?
Ryan Torain – The rest of the roster looks ready for “Beast Mode” this week, so Torain with his gimpy Hammy against a stingy Philly D. No Thanks.
I guess, Aaron Rodgers (On a BYE) but we think Danny picks up a different QB, irregardless, its gonna be bad, whomever he picks (Pennington, Clausen, Pike, or whoever the 2nd string QB is in Denver) (P.S. – Alex Smith is injured and likely won’t start, so that’s not good.)

The Big Benbowski vs. Team Rooster
Ronnie Brown facing the Titans D. Nope. Don’t want any, we aint buying. Talk to the Hand. Nope.
We think Mike Vick does worse then usual this Monday night. He always seems one poor decision away from another injury and Washington has put some people on the DL, including Vick, the first time this season. Just Saying.

Hasselbeck Girl (7-2) vs. Team RC (3-6)
HG – 124 RC – 89

EV’s All-Stars (5-4) vs. M & R, Inc. (6-3)
EV – 118 M&R – 114

Stop the Bleeding (4-5) vs. Calvin & Da Munks
STB – 112 C&TC – 103

Scoring Early and Austin vs. Can I Get a Hot Tub?
SE&A – 123 CIGAHT – 88

The Big Benbowski vs. Team Rooster
ROOSTER – 96 BenBowski – 95

Have a great week my people & good luck to the athletes competing in the Clearwater 70.3 Championships on Saturday! I’ll be there cheering you on!