WEEK 12 Fantasy Football Recap, Week 13 Predictions and Angels & Demons section.
I just finished reading a great piece by Matthew Berry, titled, “A Requiem to Leslie Nielsen” and it does both Mr. Nielsen, Lt. Frank Drebin and The Talented Mr. Roto proud..
I would love to expound on the article, but I would be afraid to spoil its wit & depth.
So, I guess for now, I will go back to my 3rd grade level writing skills and try to color between the lines.
Week 12 Predictions & Prognostications
Manning & Rivers, inc. – 145 Rooster – 101
ACTUAL SCORE – Rooster – 125 M&R, Inc – 70 – Ouch!
Cassel Fit for a King – 122 Calvin & Da Munks – 121 – If Dwayne Bowe starts, Calvins total points go to 123 and we have a winner!
ACTUAL SCORE – Calvin – 139 Cassel – 105 – Dwayne Bowe to the Rescue!
So Fresh & So Clean – 149 Team RC – 148 I can’t believe I’m picking against RC again. Last time, they dropped 161 points on our pointy heads!
ACTUAL SCORE – So Fresh – 116 Team RC – 76 – Revenge is best served cold!
Throwing in the Towelie – 123 Can I get a Hot Tub – 99 If TITT gets a Defense he adds another 10 points to the totals!
ACTUAL SCORE – Toweling off – 124 Hot Tub – 90 – He got a Defense!!
Big Benbowski – 129 Team EV’s All-Stars – 111 This is the week that EV hits the wall in the sense that Bowski brings the Hammer. Not his crime fighting cohort The Hebrew Hammer, but the metophorical hammer that pounds a nail in the 5 game winning streak coffin. Harsh. I know.
ACTUAL SCORE – EV – 120 BB – 83 How could I pick against EV…again!
3-2 this week and 18-17 for the season. Yeccchhhh!
Our quick take on this past week.
(dev·as·tat·ed, dev·as·tat·ing, dev·as·tates)
1. To lay waste; destroy.
2. To overwhelm; confound; stun
This can sum up a lot of teams seasons In our league.
Devastating Injuries – (I.e.- Ryan Grant, Tony Romo, DeAngelo Williams (I guess), Frank Gore, Matthew Stafford, Kevin Kolb, etc, etc…)
This word can also sum up expected performances coming up a little short – (I.e. – DeAngelo Williams & Jonathan Stewart, Brett Favre, Ray Rice, Matt Schaub, Larry Fitzgerald, Randy Moss, Brandon Jackson, etc, etc….)
The other description where I think DEVASTATION fits well, is the feeling all other team owners have in not picking up certain players who were available to them on the Auction Waiver. Its one stage of Devastation if you bid too low, because YOU KNEW that this certain player would be good, but its insult to injury if you needed a player and didn’t bid on these Zombies (risen from the grave and now wreaking Havoc) = (Mike Vick, Peyton Hillis, Mike Williams (TB), (Its killing me that I dropped Dwayne Bowe on Sept 15th, but he sucked Donkey Balls for 5 weeks till blowing up!!!) & Steve Johnson)
So moving away from negative thoughts, we take a look at our Angels & Demon picks from last week (Smacks Hand to Forehead) FUGLY.
Mike Tolbert did work.
NYJ’s – I said the defense and Mark Sanchez! Double Score!
Eli Manning did well against Jax.
Peyton Hillis – 3 td’s = Fantasy Goodness!
Finally, Ray Rice ran and caught his way to a good Fantasy Day…
Now onto the carnage, which is aplenty!
Frank Gore = Broken Hip, out for season.
Chris Johnson = Zero Fantasy Points against Houston’s 32nd ranked defense. Rusty Smith’d!
Sidney Rice = No Favre Turnovers = No Favre Touchdowns…
Peyton Manning was terrible…again. 4 INTS!
Sorry, I just call em’ like I see em. Obviously, Chris Johnson & Peyton are must starts each week until otherwise notified of horrific injury.
As for this weeks ANGELS & DEMONS section… Here we go.
Arian Foster – He can run, He can catch and he is going to need to do more catching then running, because of two things. #1. Philly may be up big. Quickly. #2. Matt Schaub is gonna have Eagle Wings in his face all day and dump off passes to a talented RB look good!
Mike Vick against Houston D. Unless Vick removes a mask and reveals himself to be Rusty Smith, then expect big points here.
Matt Cassel against Denver Defense – I can see the RB duo getting a lot of work here and maybe taking some points away from Cassel.
Eli Manning against Washington Skins D.
Peyton Manning after one of the worst performances of his career and this season against a porous Dallas Defense. This could get ugly. Someone is gonna see stars. Deh-vuh-Stay-Shun!
If Adrian Peterson is 80% or better he gets MAD points against Buffalo!
Sam Bradford at Arizona – Give me a break!
Matt Hasselbeck against Carolina. At Home. Hasselbeck to Obomanu all day!!!
Mike Turner against TB Run Defense. Oy Vey!
Matt Forte against Detroit Defense. OY OY VEY!
If Chris Johnson can’t make last weeks ZERO performance up to his owners against Jax, then obviously Rusty Smith is his QB. If Kerry is starting, CJ should vindicate himself!
Stephen Jax is huge in Japan!
Jay Cutler has a nice matchup against Detroit.
We like Todd Heap as a serviceable TE against Pitt D.
If I don’t put Dwayne Bowe on this list by now, I am not worth the paper this is typed on. Typed?
Unless its snowing in Green Bay, Aaron Rodgers is gonna pick apart 49ers all day.
Jamaal Charles vs. Denver defense = Yep.
LT vs. NE defense on Monday Night = Yep Yep.
Peyton Hillis against Miami Defense = Yep Yep Yeppers!
I’m betting that Sidney Rice doesn’t call it a comeback and brings the pain. Same goes for Nate Washington but only if he scrubs the Rusty out and gets himself some Kerry Collins, otherwise its best to sit him.
Now for some DEMONS! MUAH!
Stay away from Andre Johnson – start him of course, unless you have better options. But against Philly in Philly with cold weather. Yipes!
I feel silly saying OchoCinco, but yeah, go ahead and put ol’ #85 on the “We’re down on him” list.
LaGarrette Blount. If you have another option, use it, if not, he will be solid but nothing fancy, like TD’s or large long fantasy point rich runs.
Its completely just a gut feeling, but the AFC West has been so wacky and weekly up, down and impossible to predict that we think Kyle Orton falls on the dissappointment side of Angels & Demons. We see him in purgatory this week. He shant be throwing 4 td’s this week.
Fred Jackson against Minnesota Run Defense. Stay Away. Keep in mind Fred can catch and its his backfield, so Fitzy will be dumping off passes all day.
Donovan McNabb against an angry NYG defense. Stay Away!
Joe Flacco faces Pittsburgh. I’m not sure how much more you really need to read.
CASSEL – 124 TYNES – 122
EV – 130 CALVIN – 127 This time, even (Say it fast) (“A Beautiful Colorful Dwayne Bowe”) can’t get them a win.
RC – 101 BB – 99
* TEBOW – 119 M&R – 113
* ROOSTER – 122 HOT TUB – 106
* We are predicting 6-6 ROOSTER wins & 7-5 M&R loses thereby deferring to total season points scored and our prediction of the 4th and final playoff team is ROOSTER.
HAPPY CHANUKAH and Have a Great Week! Surely, Remember to check your rosters as we have another Thursday game! I will most certainly check my roster and don’t call me Shirley.