Fantasy Football Week 11 Predictions and Prognostications
Ron Burgundy: I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone: Really.
Ron Burgundy: People know me.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, I’m very happy for you.
Ron Burgundy: I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
Well, after the complete beat down performed by record setting Team RC (161 team points), I am going to ease into this weekly Angels & Demons section. Dip a toe in the water, if you will.
My Angels for this week.
Drew Brees against Seattle after a Bye Week. I’ll take 2 scoops! Shaun Hill against a Dallas Defense that gives out touchdowns to opposing QB’s, like Jehovahs Witnesses give out flyers on the Boardwalk.
Carson palmer grow his vulture wings and feast off the carcass of Buffalo whether they win a nail biter or get demolished. I think it’s a nail biter and Carson throws some INT’s along with TD’s.
Peyton Hillis should DO WORK against run friendly Jags D.
Rashard Mendenhall against Oakland Run D. Yesssss Sir! Calvin aka MEGATRON Johnson against Dallas Defense… See Shaun Hill notes above.
Peyton Manning (The original Peyton or the O.P.) against porous NE Pats D. Same old Peyton! LaGarette Blount against 49ers. Normally Bucs don’t do well on West Coast, but I think this new regime has completely shaken any old curses.
Matt Cassel vs. Phoenix Redbirds. Advantage Cassel. Dez Bryant seems to like his hazings doled out by Kitna and there will be blood. Lions blood. As Dez should go off.
Kyle Orton against San Diego equals FF goodness! Larry Fitzgerald is ripe to devour this week.
Aaron Rodgers against Minnesota seems like as good a way as any to come back after a refreshing bye week. We think the rest did the Mustachioed Rodgers good. Mark Sanchez gets the Houston Texans worst ranked defense to come to town. Are you kidding me? He is gonna do work.
Flacco versus Carolina Kitties who are starting a 3rd string RB, and a 4th string QB. Flacco will be pulled by the 3rd qtr as the Ravens will be ahead by 30 pts.
MoJo Drew is going to have a good day catching the ball against surprisingly good run defense in Cleveland.
Tom Brady is going to have to throw a lot against Indy high octane offense in this matchup. Kind of iffy on Sam Bradford. He will probably get double digits in FF points but were are guessing low teens as Atlanta is a solid defense and his WR corp is thin.
Fool us once, shame on you, Fool us twice and we suck. David Garrard is going to throw all day on Cleveland and light the Cuyahoga back on Fire! Jon Kitna will have a decent day against Detroit, although I fathom he may have the paw print of SUH on his helmet by the time this game is over.
I can only pick two players off RC’s roster so I’m done, but I am staring longingly with a crush as her roster is stacked! Gonna be another good week.
Is Dustin Keller really going to drop another stinker on us, even against “It’s your offenses birthday” Texans D? If he does, he will find himself surfing the wire.
Is this the week Mike Vick gets stopped, throws an INT, is discovered to have sent Brett Favre a text? We think the NYG’s game plan a bit better and maybe a slipup here or there for Vick but all in all not too bad. Pierre Garcon on the other hand… We have no words….Oh yeah, I guess we do… CATCH THE BALL!
Matt Schaub at the Jets. Oh Lawd have Mercy. Stay Away. Schaub is toast this year and other then an easy game peppered in too make you forget how terrible he has been, the stink grows.
We think Adrian Peterson has a tough go of things this week facing a rested, stingy Packers Defense.
We are down on Ahmad Bradshaw, although we think he does ok because of his pass catching skills, but its going to be tough running, unless Philly repeats and Bradshaw grosses points in garbage time.
Big Ben against Oakland. Im getting queasy just thinking about this one. Ben seems shaky as he has underperformed in his last few games and although this looks to be a fantasy point rich matchup, maybe in the run dept, but not the pass.
Screw it. LeSean McCoy because I hate him. Loathe him. He is the debbil. We asked this question last week and the answer was, surprisingly “NO!” If Cedric Benson hasn’t produced yet, he has to against the RB friendly defense of 1-8 Buffalo, right?
Mike “Turner the Burner” against surprising ST. Louie D and Brandon Jacobs against Philly.. NO to both…. NO X 2.… No Squared…. Nyet…
Unsure about Steven Jackson against ATL D. We’ll hedge our bets and say minimal performance.
SO FRESH & SO CLEAN – 134 ROOSTER 125
CALVIN & DA MUNKS – 135 M&R, INC. – 121
BIG BENBOWSKI – 115 CASSEL FIT FOR A KING – 105
HOT TUB – 111 TEAM EV – 109
TEAM RC – 126 BLEEDING – 106
Mike McDermott: “Fold or hang tough. Call or raise the bet. These are decisions you make at the table. Sometimes the odds are stacked so clear there’s only one way to play it. Other times, like holding a small pair against two over cards, it’s six to five, or even money, either way. Then it’s all about feel, what’s in your guts.“
Brian Fantana: [about Veronica] I’ll give this little cookie an hour before we’re doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
[opens cologne cabinet]
Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard’s Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne… It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.
I realize now, through your vigil and vitriol filled letters that I am not Matthew Berry but kind of like a Tall Bill Simmons, which is flattering like calling a small Killer Whale a Porpoise. It hurts bro, it hurts. Have a good week, and good luck to all the athletes competing in Ironman Arizona! Go Sarasota Storm!