Week 13 & Fantasy Football season recap — The Perspective

Week 13 & Fantasy Football season recap — The Perspective

23-12-1 final prediction totals. That’s a spicy MEATBALL!!!

Fail

Fail2

Fail 3

ZALLA’S BALLER’S (8-4) VS. LESS IS MOORE (8-4)
Defending Super Bowl champion ZB’s are continuing their dominance of this league and look to put their stamp on it again with a win and clinching of the #1 seed. MOORE is hoping to lick his wounds and change his momentum with a win and a shot at the top seed. Its the BATTLE ROYALE on CENTER STAGE! This matchup includes, the #2, #3 & #4 FF ranked QB’s. The #1 Tight End, Defense & Kicker and the #2 Wide Receiver, so you know these teams are legit and stuff.

I think there will be some tweaks to the rosters before the games begin, so I am guessing this outcome off the cuff.

Prediction — LIM – 159 ZB’s – 149

I figured DeSean Jackson was gonna disappoint, but not both starting RB’s. Especially Michael Bush against Miami, but who could’ve predicted a 31-0 lead for Miami before Carson Palmer really had a chance to stop throwing INT’s and start throwing garbage time TD’s. Mike Bush never had a chance. 19 yards on 10 carries.

Actual Score — LIM – 163 ZB’s – 108

THE PEACOCK SLAYER (3-8-1) VS. BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE (6-6)
Another battle where a participant needs to win to secure the 4th playoff spot. Will The Peacock Slayers take down another team and crush some more dreams or will BOOM win again as in their previous matchup (101-64).
Even though, the prognosticator in me, thinks BOOM takes this matchup and the 4th playoff spot, I do see a crack in the foundation. His roster features 6 players playing against 2 teams. 3 NY Giants facing Green Bay and 3 SF 49ers facing St. Louis. Both seem like smart plays, but if things go awry in one of these games, this matchup could also change dramatically. For that reason alone, I am picking another upset.

TPS – 129 BGTD – 121

When the Peacock slayers come to slay the Peacock’s they EFFIN Bring it!! Even in sitting Alex Smith (who scored (-1) points the previous week and starting Flacco against the flaccid Browns, OF COURSE Fantasy Football Laws dictate that Flacco scored all of (4) pts and Alex SMith on the bench dropped (36). But it didnt matter. The 49ers Defense (30) pitches a shutout, Chris Johnson (31) saved his best for last and Eli Manning (41) keeps making it rain out there in losing efforts. Meanwhile, Cam Newton has become this Rookie of the Year by not sharing. Thereby nullifying Jonathan Stewart, Steve Smith (3 pts) and DeAngelo Williams from glory, pitchmen for advertisements and fantasy football relevance.

Actual Score – TPS – 162 BGTD – 111

BRANDON LLOYD CHRISTMAS (8-4) VS. BATTLE CRY LEEROY JENKINS (5-7)
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Battle cry cannot seem to stop the bleeding and need a win here to have a chance at the 4th and final playoff spot. Christmas is on cruise control and looking to lockup the top seed with a win and a little help.
So onto the potential outcome! 3 word for X-mas – Rodgers, Romo & Murray! You can’t spell Battle CRY without CRY and this is what Leeroy will be doing once his Roethlisberger’s, Freeman’s & Forte’s sputter out again. Just looking at the matchups.
A brutal end to a brutal end of a season for Leeroy.

BLC – 148 BCLJ – 108

While holding the pillow over Leeroy Jenkins face, I thought about how much I enjoyed this years 13 week season and what fun, competitive season it turned out to be. Oh no, I forgot to remove the pillow!! I think Leeroy is a goner. I better get out of here. For BCLJ, #1 pick Adrian Peterson (0 pts) missed his second consecutive week, Matt Forte (1 pt) sprained his MCL in the 1st qtr, Matt Hasselbeck (8 pts) is Matt Hasselbeck. I had a hunch it was going to be a brutal end of the season for BCLJ and although he gave it all he had, a 4 game losing streak to end the season is similar to Nic Cage’s downward spiral in Losing Las Vegas. Christmas looks solid and yet another ridiculous performance from Aaron Rodgers (46 pts) and solid days from LeSean (24) and the Ravens defense (19) equal the top seed and maybe some Cashola for taking the pinnacle spot! My winnings shall be placed in Paulie Savings & Loan and I can’t complain with my 27% interest I’m charging!

Actual Score – BLC – 143 BCLJ – 97

DOBACK & HUFF (4-8) VS. THATS 1 IN A ROW (5-6-1)
Doback can play spoiler here, or 1 in a row puts in a last ditch effort to claim the final playoff spot! Looking at the top 5 matchups of the QB’s, RB’s & WR’s I cannot help but love, love, love… Doback.
I mean, Cam Newton against the Yuccaneers, Frank Gore against St. Louis porous run defense after last weeks beatdown against the Ravens. I expect Gore to run roughshod. I can totally get on board with starting 2 WR’s against Cleveland, usually. Not sure about both of them going off, but 1 for sure.
1 in a row has some tougher conflicts, such as… the underwhelming, league leading turnover machine Philip Rivers facing a staunch Jags defense. Arian Foster with T.J. Yates at QB playing a solid Falcons defense that will most certainly put 8 guys in the box to stop Foster. Finally, Ryan Pickspatrick against Tennessee. Last weeks TD showing is a mirage. He’ll revert back to Pickspatrick this week.

D&H – 134 T1IAR – 122

Now that’s just showing off. Bully. Needs to win to get in the playoffs, doesn’t even start a kicker and wins by 43 points. Whether cocky or lazy, it paid off as 1 in a row claims the 4th seed. Arian Foster (24) and Reggie Bush (18) and Philip Frickin Rivers (41) did work. While on the other side of the ball, James starks (0), Vince Young (12) & Torrey Smith (3) did not do any work. Doback did do one thing amazing this year. He took a chance on Cam Newton and it worked out awesome. That guy was a beast.

Actual Score – T1IAR – 138 D&H – 95

SEASON RECAP

Doback & Huff

Doback & Huff 4-9
A newbie to the league. He paid the newbie price, bringing up the rear. In reality, a 4-9 record isn’t that bad for a first go around and as mentioned, the Cam Newton, Tony Gonzalez and Houston Defense were all great picks. Another silver lining on Doback ‘s season is he defeated the #2 & #3 teams in the league. We look for good things from Doback next season and he can still make waves in the Special Olympic Playoffs.

The Peacock Slayers 4-8-1
#1 defense in the 49ers, an amazing Waiver wire pickup in Victor Cruz and Eli Manning is the #6 QB as of this story, which is solid. Ok, where to begin. Let’s start with Chris Johnson… For the first 8 weeks of the season, he flat out sucked. He has been money 3 of the last 4, but it was waaaaaay tooooooo late by then. Andre Johnson’s hammy’s blew him up, but that was always a risk with him (check the past 2 seasons with Hamstrung Dre). Joe Flacco regressed, Alex Smith plays well in a system that is all about defense and running the ball (as in little to no passing needed) and Hakeem Nicks is an enigma. 6 weeks in FF point double figures and 6 weeks in FF single digits. The Peacock Slayers are scrappers though and it wouldnt surprise us to see them improve dramatically next season.

Leeroy Jenkins

Battle Cry – LeeRoy Jenkins 5-8
The top pick in our leagues draft. 5-4 at one point and that’s when the trash talking begin. 4 straight losses later. Not a peep. Confidence and Fantasy Football are fickle bitches. #1 pick Adrian Peterson gets injured and misses week 12 & 13, Matt Forte gets injured and misses week 13. Ryan Matthews starts off with 5 above average weeks (89 total pts), gets a BYE and then 5 miserable weeks (22 total pts). The combination of Ben Roethlisberger (10th rated QB), Matt Hasselbeck (14th rated) & Josh Freeman (18th rated) was mostly abysmal. Even worse, 3 stud WR’s, when you can only start 2 each week and Fantasy Football law states that if you have 3 studs and can only start 2, you will over think this and when you start one guy who goes off the previous week (Mike Wallace wk 3 (30 pts) to wk 4 (7 pts)) or (Jordy Nelson wk 11 (30 pts) to wk 12 (2 pts)) only to take a dump the next, you know what its like to play Fantasy football.
Similar to Euthanasia, we just happy that Leeroy Jenkins isn’t in pain anymore. RIP.

Boom goes the dynamite

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE 6-7
Another surprise ending. Losing 5 of the last 6 games, another Zaller gets snuffed out of the playoffs when early on it appeared all 3 zallers were destined to make it to the postseason. Now we are left with only 1. Look, if ever there was a team that deserved a pass, it was this one. Here is the carnage that this NFL season left in its wake… Jamaal Charles (IR), Matt Schaub (IR), Jahvid Best (IR) & Tim Hightower (IR). I actually think that finishing 6-7 with those injuries was quite a feat. I expect BGTD to be sniffing around the playoffs next season for sure.

Connect One

Thats One in a Row 6-6-1
I knew that tie was gonna be a factor, I just didn’t think it would be the deciding factor in making the playoffs. I’m just glad that last seasons last place finisher has fought back after a 1-5 start to go 5-1-1 down the stretch and grasp that final playoff spot. He could be a force in the postseason. He drafted Peyton Manning, but thats on him. Most people thought Peyton was doomed this season anyhow. Kenny Britt going down was a blow, and losing Jason Campbell was… not much of a blip on the radar. Honestly, this team seems like it would be an easy team to beat, but everyone on this roster is all over the place and some shrewd waiver wire pickups have patched some holes (Reggie Bush). Philip Rivers has mostly sucked, Ryan Pickspatrick came out of the gate like Secretariat but has become mostly sucky. Arian Foster continues to be a BEAST each week even with the 3rd string QB playing. Other then that, this roster is balanced but underwhelming. #7 Wr& #14 WR, #7 TE, #10 Def… Anything could happen with this team. We’re just glad we’re still talking about them!

Zaller

Zalla’s Baller’s 8-5

Defending Champ. Never count them out. #3 seed in the playoffs. They have a dog in this fight… ironically that dog is named Buddy. Seriously though, Tom Brady & Rob Gronkowski are a 2 man wrecking crew and if no defense continues to cover Gronk, then expect him to keep tearing up FF matchups everywhere! Also, #1 kicker David Akers is on this team along with another top ten QB, #9 Matty ‘Ice’ Ryan. You never know what your gonna get with Roddy White or Percy Harvin this season.

Beast A'la mode

Beast Mode 9-4

In beast mode currently and getting ready to hammer that pedal to the floor. Just missed out on the huge payday of the #1 team by 4 points. This team is legit! #1 WR in Wes Welker, #2 & #5 QB’s in Drew Brees & Matthew Stafford & Marshawn Lynch (?) & Vincent Jackson. A strong bench makes this team scary! Beastly, even!
I know deep down, in his heart of hearts and in places Danny won’t talk about. He misses LeSean. Danny, rest easy my brother, you’ll see LeSean very soon. And then you’ll see him in your nightmares!! Muah, MUAH, MUAH!!!

So your saying there's a chance!

Brandon Lloyd Christmas 9-4

Already spent my winnings on a spatula and the DVD set of Golden Girls and the matching t-shirt. #1 QB in golden boy Aaron Rodgers (the #3 pick in this years draft!) & #7 Tony Romo, #1 RB LeSean McCoy & #3 Ravens D, so yeah, we’re pretty good. Things happen though, and its been a relatively healthy season for my squad, which is in complete contrast to last year. Ultimately, we are excited (yes i’m referring to my team in the “we”) about a fervent and vivacious playoff.

1,2… Christmas is coming for you…
3,4… Better hope your players score…
5,6… Gonna get in some good licks…
7,8… A huge win, I prog-nos-ti-cate…
9,10.. Christmas WINS AGAIN!!

Muah, MuAH, MUAH!!!

Good luck to all, and what a fun season this has been.

I hope you have enjoyed the write-ups as I have mostly enjoyed writing them. I did feel bad always writing so negatively towards Paulie’s team when they started sucking like a gay porn star at the end, but I’m better now.

Mazel Tov!!

Week 12 Recap & Week 13 Predictions — Fantasy Football — The Perspective

Week 12 Recap & Week 13 Predictions — Fantasy Football — The Perspective

My Week 12 purrr—dictions are Here. <———

20-11-1 on the season. Not too shabby!

The recaps are going to sting a little bit this week. Its time for a reality check. Some of you are welcomed with open arms to the Champagne Room. Others are still squabbling over that last golden ticket and still others should proceed down the hall to the coat room to leave the building ASAP. It’s cold and lonely out there in Fantasy Offseason Land. No Worries, you’ll get em’ next year tiger!

ZB-166 BGTD – 122 In what can only be described as the King Lion embarrassing the up and coming Lion when they tried to claim supremacy, this was a virtual bloodbath. It lies heavily on the 2 QB spots. Although, BGTD got a solid performance from Mark ‘I will never win a super bowl’ Sanchez with 31 FF pts, and Jimmy Graham (22) & Brandon Marshall (20), the rest of the team didn’t offer much point support and with Tom Brady being who we thought he was with (44 FF Pts) & Matty “Ice” Ryan bringing (35) to the table, Roddy White (24) and Cedric Benson’s (20) were “Icing” on the beatdown cake! Mmmmmmm, Cake!!!

TPS – 158 LIM – 130 WTF? In what can be best described by this video clip - The Peacock Slayers, even with Alex Smith getting them (-1 FF PTS), Eli Manning (43) & His Boy Victor Cruz (37) worked together with CJ1k (19) & SEABASS Janikowski with (23 = AKA 6 FG’s) to overcome another Ho-Hum 5 TD’s from Drew Brees (53) & Matthew Stafford (21). Nice Upset Peacock Slayers, even with your season over, you still bring the Pain!!

BLC – 117 D&H – 99 Finally! A team that didn’t score 100 Pts or more against me this season! OK. Ok. Focus Dreznin!
Kind of a Bottle Rocket contest. All kinds of high scoring anticipation and then… a couple of sparks, a loud “POP” and mostly fizzle. Top 3 scorers from BLC – Aaron Rodgers (DUH!) (36), Tony Romo (20) & Ravens Defense (18) just out-dueled Vince Young (31), Cam Newton (21) & Texans D (15). Look anytime, the defenses make up the 3rd highest scorers on BOTH teams, you know the rest of the rosters sucked with enough force to get a golfball through a garden hose. Doback & Huff… We hardly knew you. You can still play spoiler though in Week 13!

T1IAR – 117 BCLJ – 85 Wow. With a chance to control his playoff destiny, Battle Cry Leeroy Jenkins drops his 3rd game in a row and finds himself on the outside looking in for the final playoff spot. A playoff spot that seemed a lock 3 weeks ago is now out of his control and he needs help. I’ll visit the tiebreaker scenarios in the Week 13 section, but first let’s see who dropped the ball for LEEROY. again. for. the. 3rd. week. in. a. row. Ben Roethlesbergerstein (14 FF PTs) against Kansas City (ewwww) & Jaaaaaash Freeman (12) (Stick a fork in him) & in order of Suckitude… Calvin Johnson (10) (his production is 40-67% less then the beginning of the season), Matt Forte (9) (same for M4tay – 35-50% less = He got Hanie’d) & finally Mike Wallace (1). One in a Row on the other hand had nice showings from Ryan PicksPatrick (34) & Arian Foster (16) (even with 1/2 a game of Matt Leinart & 1/2 a game with T.J. Yates and a total of 65 rush yds and 2 fumbles) & Greg Jennings (15) (Suck on that Jordy Nelson!) Next week is the last gasp for these two, so time to DO WORK, fellas.

Week 13 predictions!

With 3 of the 4 playoff slots filled, (Ha! I said ‘Slots Filled’) this has become an interesting lurch to the finish line. The 4th and final spot is up for grabs between BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE (6-6), THATS ONE IN A ROW (5-6-1) & still Ccccchanging around BATTLE CRY LEROY JENKINS (5-7).

And don’t forget, the top spot, the king of the hill, the big banana, the godfather, numero uno is still up for grabs with a 3-way tie! Is there a $$$ prize for finishing first in the league? Get back to us Paulie! I think I found a trophy for the league winner as well, but we’ll save that for the playoffs!

The Playoff Seeding tiebreakers are (according to our leagues settings) going to be based on Head to Head matchups… Not total points scored, etc…

So on that note.

The battle for the 4th and final playoff spot tiebreaker reads a little something like this.
Jared vs. Paul (2-0)
Jared vs. Steve(1-1)
Paul vs. Steve (1-1)

Since Jared has a tie, that will effectively dictate the 4th spot if they win and are tied. If Paul & Steve are tied at the end, then based on total points scored. (Before week 13 — Steve has 1501 & Paul has 1464. A 37 point swing to overcome.)

As for the top seed…
Erin vs. Sean (2-0)
Sean vs. Dan (1-1)
Dan vs. Erin (N/A) They play each other in week 13.

So to recap, Erin owns Sean, just like last years final/Super Bowl. Points for Sean (1702) vs. Dan (1679) equals a 23 point gap to fill (Ha! I said Gap to fill!) Since Erin & Dan play each other for week 13, the head to head stuff doesn’t really matter since the loser falls to 8-5 and most likely the #3 seed.

I hope that helps to build a little more anticipation like this

Now onto the unfinished business! Week 13 Prognostications!

Trust me... It hurt me worse then the turkey!

DOBACK & HUFF (4-8) VS. THATS 1 IN A ROW (5-6-1)
Doback can play spoiler here, or 1 in a row puts in a last ditch effort to claim the final playoff spot! Looking at the top 5 matchups of the QB’s, RB’s & WR’s I cannot help but love, love, love… Doback.

I mean, Cam Newton against the Yuccaneers, Frank Gore against St. Louis porous run defense after last weeks beatdown against the Ravens. I expect Gore to run roughshod. I can totally get on board with starting 2 WR’s against Cleveland, usually. Not sure about both of them going off, but 1 for sure.

1 in a row has some tougher conflicts, such as… the underwhelming, league leading turnover machine Philip Rivers facing a staunch Jags defense. Arian Foster with T.J. Yates at QB playing a solid Falcons defense that will most certainly put 8 guys in the box to stop Foster. Finally, Ryan Pickspatrick against Tennessee. Last weeks TD showing is a mirage. He’ll revert back to Pickspatrick this week.

D&H – 134 T1IAR – 122

Awesome!

THE PEACOCK SLAYER (3-8-1) VS. BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE (6-6)
Another battle where a participant needs to win to secure the 4th playoff spot. Will The Peacock Slayers take down another team and crush some more dreams or will BOOM win again as in their previous matchup (101-64).
Even though, the prognosticator in me, thinks BOOM takes this matchup and the 4th playoff spot, I do see a crack in the foundation. His roster features 6 players playing against 2 teams. 3 NY Giants facing Green Bay and 3 SF 49ers facing St. Louis. Both seem like smart plays, but if things go awry in one of these games, this matchup could also change dramatically. For that reason alone, I am picking another upset.

TPS – 129 BGTD – 121

Oh how the mighty (hyped) have fallen!

BRANDON LLOYD CHRISTMAS (8-4) VS. BATTLE CRY LEEROY JENKINS (5-7)
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Battle cry cannot seem to stop the bleeding and need a win here to have a chance at the 4th and final playoff spot. Christmas is on cruise control and looking to lockup the top seed with a win and a little help.
So onto the potential outcome! 3 word for X-mas – Rodgers, Romo & Murray! You can’t spell Battle CRY without CRY and this is what Leeroy will be doing once his Roethlisberger’s, Freeman’s & Forte’s sputter out again. Just looking at the matchups.
A brutal end to a brutal end of a season for Leeroy.

BLC – 148 BCLJ – 108

Champion BATTLE ROYALE

ZALLA’S BALLER’S (8-4) VS. LESS IS MOORE (8-4)
Defending Super Bowl champion ZB’s are continuing their dominance of this league and look to put their stamp on it again with a win and clinching of the #1 seed. MOORE is hoping to lick his wounds and change his momentum with a win and a shot at the top seed. Its the BATTLE ROYALE on CENTER STAGE! This matchup includes, the #2, #3 & #4 FF ranked QB’s. The #1 Tight End, Defense & Kicker and the #2 Wide Receiver, so you know these teams are legit and stuff.

I think there will be some tweaks to the rosters before the games begin, so I am guessing this outcome off the cuff.

LIM – 159 ZB’s – 149

With all the scores, my prediction is BOOM takes the 4th playoff spot with a losing record of 6-7 and CHRISTMAS takes the overall top seed by beating MOORE on overall points scored.

Have a great week and remember to do something nice for someone else with nothing in return!

The Perspective – Fantasy Football Week 8 & 9 recap and Week 10 predictions

The Perspective – Fantasy Football Week 8 & 9 recap and Week 10 predictions

3-1 in Week 8. Total on the year… 10-6 overall.

4-0 in Week 9. Thats what I’m going with… 14-6 overall.

For Week 10… Lets dive in.

THE REAL MCCOY (6-3) VS. ZALLERS BALLAS (5-4)
TRM – 139 ZB – 127
LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY <— IS THAT THE MOTTO OF PENN STATE FOOTBALL?… TOO SOON?

THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE (6-3) VS. BATTLE CRY LEROY JENKINS (5-4)
TTS – 130 BCLJ – 128

RECLAIMS THE TOP SPOT AND LIKE COMMUNISM, EXERTS HIS CZAR-LIKE DOMINANCE!

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE (5-4) VS. DOBACK & HUFF (3-6)
D&H – 122 BGTD – 121
WHY WOULD YOU LET US DO THAT! THERE’S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

ONE IN A ROW (4-5) VS. THE PEACOCK SLAYER (2-7)
TPS – 149 T1IAR – 147
*UPSET SPOILER ALERT

The Perspective – Fantasy Football – Week 6 recap & Week 7 Predictions & Prognostications

The Perspective – Fantasy Football – Week 6 recap & Week 7 Predictions & Prognostications

Hello? Is it me your looking for.

“The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria”

GUESS – DGF – 145 BGTD – 112
ACTUAL -DGF – 135 BGTD – 111
I led off with this pick, because this is why I’m hot.

GUESS – WTF – 132 ZB – 126
ACTUAL – ZB – 132 WTF- 99
And this is why I’m not. BEST FRIEND HUG!

GUESS – 2DM – 169 BOWE – 88
ACTUAL -2DM – 123 BOWE – 117
Whew… Helluva lot closer then I thought.

GUESS – TD&H – 133 HILLIS – 122
ACTUAL -HILLIS 134 TD & H – 109
Oops. I was close on actual scores this week, but alas, another 2-2 week.

2-2 this week
4-4 overall

Let’s take a closer look at these games with highest scoring juggernaut getting all the attention thereby followed by the losers…err.. I mean less productive teams.

DGF – 135 BGTD – 111
Fred Jackson & MiKe Turner outscored Drew Brees & Matt Stafford. This team is balanced. Mark Sanchez was a respectable serviceable, solid, stable, sleep inducing QB and Hillis & that Steve Smith underwhelmed leaving the inevitable bad taste in the trade mouth.

HILLIS – 134 TD & H – 109
Where have you been Jaaaaaash Freeman?! There you are! Unfortunately, I don’t see a repeat of that performance for next week, but then, its not my team. Big Ben was ho-hum. So many QB’s, so few that look good. Kolb & Hasselbeck round out the QB legion.
As for Doback… If it wasn’t for pesky Freeman and some less then performances, I think this team looks solid. Sproles & Miles Austin, Anquan Boldin, Cam & Vick. Seems logical that some weeks are gonna be fantastic and others not so much. We’ll chock this week up to not so much and hope for better.

ZB’s – 132 WTF – 99
I feel like I always pick WTF’s prediction incorrectly. Every week. Every season. No different here. Jahivd has 2nd concussion, Bradford walking around in Boot & Andre J has gimpy hamstring. Sometimes you have to let the bird go for it to fly and not squeeze it tighter or something. Pretty Bird!

As for Week 7 Predictions.
Bye weeks include some stalwarts like Tom Brady, Mike Vick, Shady McCoy, DeSean Jackson, Eli Manning, Ahmad Bradshaw, Fred Jackson and AJ Grizz-Eeen.

So in lieu of those vacay’s, here are the hypothecations.

TRUFFLE SHUFFLE (5-1) V. ZALLA’S BALLER’S (4-2)
Too Easy. Truffle gonna take you to the candy shop!
TS – 157 ZB – 102

TFAC (4-2) V. BCLJ (2-4)
Make or break for one team. Cruise Control for another.
QB Roulette. Pick wisely.
ESPN predicts a close one. I’ll go along with that.
No one, and i mean NO ONE, comes into our house and pushes us around.

TFAC – 149 BCLJ – 147

BGTD (4-2) V. TPS (2-4)
This could get ugly. Half TPS’ team is on a BYE. Ray Rice is pissed. Brandon Marshall faces his old team and boy do they suck.
I couldn’t help focus on the initials TPS and the movie Office Space –
BGTD – 133 TPS – 92

OIAR (1-5) V. TD&H (2-4)
No coming back from 1-6. 2-5 still leaves hope that the playoffs can be reached. Slim hope, but hope.
I’m rooting for hope!

OIAR – 101 TD&H – 100

FYI – San Diego actually means “Whale Vagina” ** The more you know!

The Perspective – Fantasy Football – Week 5 recap & Week 6 Predictions & Prognostications

The Perspective – Fantasy Football – Week 5 recap & Week 6 Predictions & Prognostications

Red Hooded Sweatshirt Fat Cat from Click with Adam Sandler

Well another week of football games have come and gone and still the world turns…
The NBA and its players decided to take a hot steaming dump on its fans and continue to battle over billions. Eff’ Em!
Apparently, there are baseball playoffs going on? What’s that about? Without the Rays, Yanks, Red Sox or Dodgers playing, I just don’t care.
Finally, something something something, KARDASHIAN, blah, blah, blah, Sophia Vergara. There. That ought to get this blog a few hits!

As everyone knows, Captain Insano, shows no MERCY! So Let’s dive right in and take a look at last weeks league games. As always, I start the recap with the highest scoring team and work backwards to the biggest loser.

TEAM WTF – 178 DOWN GOES FRAZIER – 139
There are hardly words to describe the pure joy of this outcome. David slains Goliath. This game was in essence a must win for WTF, for the entire league and for puppies, cake and everything that is right in the world. WTF continues the momentum swing to a 2-3 record and redemption and the playoffs are in sight. FRAZIER falls to 4-1 and we can see a couple of cracks in the teams foundation, although based on the numbers 139 points is quite a solid week and its still going to take a strong effort each week to take out Frazier. Weeks 9 & 11 are Staffords & Brees’ BYE weeks, so those are good opportunities! Its public data. Just saying.

2 DRINK MINIMUM – 149 TEAM DOBACK AND HUFF – 117
Well, I got this one right at least. This matchup had destruction written all over it. Hollywood CAM lighting up New Orleans and Mike Vick getting his revenge on Buffalo and the Harvard undrafted elite. Instead, CAM did well enough, Vick threw 4 INT’s and Aaron Rodgers is who we thought he was. A bonafide #1 pick! I may crown myself king of the BYE-week waiver wire wizard! Matt Cassel who sucked donkey balls all season throws 4 td’s and tells all the boys in the yard that his milkshake tastes better then yours. AJ Green is my second favorite AJ now, behind AJ Allmendinger or something Nascarry…Nascarish…Nascarmic!

Will_Ferrell_in_Talladega_Nights__The_Ballad_of_Ricky_Bobby_Wallpaper_2_800

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE – 127 ZALLA’S BALLER’S – 93
Temporary Spousal Bragging rights go to Steve. Am I the only one who feels like scoring 127 points in this league should equal a loss? AAAARRRGGGHHHHH! The DYNAMITE, the only team to have less then a total of 600 points (595) scored against them, prevail, yet again. We could see this being a let down week for ZB’s with Brady playing NY Jets D and Matty Ice facing off against undefeated Green Bay and sure enough, the tarot cards were correct. Matt Schaub scored some points, which is nice, but The Law Firm, (Green-Ellis) brought the hammer this week.

PUTABOWEONTHISWINFORDANNY – 125 WHATCHOOTALKINBOUTHILLIS – 106
Hallelujah! Put a “DUB-YOO” on the Board for BOWE! This is one of those matchups that can leave an owner confused and second guessing himself or we’ll find that owner naked curled up in his panic room sucking his thumb mumbling something about Roethlisberger throwing 5 td’s or subbing Jordy Nelson (1 pt) in for Mike Wallace (18 pts)! ARRRRRGGGHHHH! BOWE has some momentum as Arian Foster and Dwayne Bowe are bringing the lumber each week now. If Philip could get his sh*t together and Fitzpatrick could hand off less to Fred Jackson, then this team could be scary good. Probably not, but its fun to imagine!

2-2 on picks last week.

Well, that recap was my warm up. Now Go Live every Week, like its Shark Week! “”

The week 6 matchup that everybody including, the HotTubSleeperPick Girls (Who better have day jobs) .

BGTD (4-1) vs DGF (4-1)
I’m not wasting much time poring over this. FRAZIER should crush LOOSING. Brees & Stafford & Turner the Burner have decent matchups, whereas Schaub & Sanchez have horrible matchups and newly acquired Hillis is taking games off to get a new contract! Hello Monterio Hardesty!
DGF – 145 BGTD – 112

ZB’s (3-2) vs WTF (2-3)
WTF has the momentum. ZB’s has the win on paper. Looking at the player matchups, it looks like ZB’s should win a close one. I’m going with Momentum though.
WTF – 132 ZB – 126

2DM (3-2) vs PABOTWFD (1-4)
Another easy pick! For BOWE, Rivers is on BYE, Arian faces baltimore D and Jason Campbell faces a surprisingly good pass D in Cleveland. Whereas, Romo faces NE and Aaron Rodgers faces winless St. Louis. It’s gonna be bad.
2DM – 169 BOWE – 88 Ummmmm… Awkward.

TD&H (2-3) vs WYTBH (1-4)
After trading the other Peyton away, its name changing time! Get on it HILLIS! While we like the Potential of Cam & Vick starting each week from a sheer point amassing, they both have difficult matchups on paper this week. On the flip side, Big Ben & J-Free have what appear to be fantasy friendly matchups. The warning here is, when things seem too good to be true, they usually are. Big Ben has no O-line, and Freeman has underwhelmed all season.
I’m going against the grain here.
TD&H – 133 HILLIS – 122

This should be a fun week with some decent Real games! Dallas v. NE, TB v. NO, Det v. SF, etc… So grab your bib, hot sauce and a stack of wet naps! DO IT. DO IT! Its Game time! (Too much?)

The Perspective – Fantasy Football Week 4 Recap

The Perspective – Fantasy Football Week 4 Recap

WILSON!!!

I was in Augusta, Georgia last week for the Half Ironman Race so I was unable to fulfill my duties as sarcastic recapper for the league. I hope to make that up to you this week.

Bringing the Pain to Augusta, GA!

In a lackadaisical recap of Week 3, we find that The Majestic Peacocks squeak by Hillis 158-156 to remain undefeated. Nice Matchup Fellas… for me to poop on! Boom? Alright, I’m a little rusty, its been a while… Cut me some slack… Things can only get better from here.

Team WTF destroyed Jared’s team. Jared is starting off, right where we left him last season. Winless and Fantasy Football Rock Bottom. Put down the draft sheet and bottle of whiskey and get it together! Congrats to WTF for getting a “W”.

I joked previously about Zalla’s Ballers not being ghetto enough or not being proper enough. She silenced me by 30 points, 163-133. I just got served. Erin should continue to dominate this league as long as Tom Brady doesn’t cut that beautiful golden mane of his… Oops! <—- Sean tries the indirect SuperJinx! He just dropped some David Blaine nonsense on you!

Short Hair Curse!!

Ok, remember that scene in Shawshank Redemption, where Morgan Freeman is narrating about Andy Dufrain and the Sisters. Where Freeman says, “I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that – but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile – prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him – sometimes he was able to fight ‘em off, sometimes not.”

This matchup was one of those “NOT” times.
NOTLOOSINGTOMYWIFETHISTIME – 159 TEAM LOLOLOLOLOL – 72

Anytime you get doubled up in the scoring with points to spare, thats a bad day. On the bright side, if Parisi can ever start the 2 better performing QB’s on his roster he could crush some beeotches!

Ok, Moving on to Week 4 in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen…

As in previous weeks, i start with the game that features the highest scoring team and work backwards.

SLURPING PIGEONS (1-2) vs. NOTLOOSINGTOMYWIFETHISTIME (3-0)
206 – 114
Well that was painful to watch. I believe that Aaron Rodgers may have set the all time fantasy football record for points scored for an individual. 69 points for A-Rod2 almost beat 2 teams in the league by himself. Ok, enough braggadocio… Well, just a touch more. Also the Ravens D (38 pts) and Tony Romo (3 INTS = 34 pts) outscored the highest scoring player on NL2MWTT (Hasselbeck-33 pts). A must win for the Pigeons and just a slight hiccup for the This Times!

MAJESTIC PEACOCKS (3-0) vs. PUTABOWEONTHISWIN FORDANNY (0-3)
Another tight fit for the Cock’s. But alas, they leave this battle 4-0. 147-143 over the BOWE’s who limp away at 0-4. It’s serious look in the mirror and question everything you’ve done up to this point time. May be time to start playing weekly matchups and scouring the waiver wire. The playoffs are still a possibility but the light at the end of that tunnel is slowly disappearing.

TEAM LOLOLOLOLOL (1-2) vs. TEAM WTF!!! (1-2)
Crucial matchup for both teams as 1-3 is a deep hole to climb out of, while 2-2 is a new lease on fantasy life!
This game was all over the place. 128-89 LOLOLOLOL wins. Cam scores 44 pts + Cutler who scored 2. versus Eli who registered 33 pts + Wacco Flacco Flame who scored ZERO points… which was dramatically better then Sanchez on the bench who brought (-7) points to the table. Oy Vey! Sadly, LOLOLOLOL still can’t tweak the right starting QB’s at the same time as Vick’s 42 points stayed on the bench. Next week he’ll get it right! LOLOLOLOLOL goes to 2-2 and is looking like a rookie genius for selecting Cam in the 3rd round! WTF!! is hurting at 1-3 and needs to right the ship.

Finally,
WHATCHOOTALKINBOUTHILLIS (1-2) vs. ZALLA’S BALLER’S (2-1)
This battle just champions the argument against HILLIS (1-3) taking Adrian Peterson as the #1 pick versus a QB. Big Ben scores 5 pts, Kolb echoes that with 5 pts. Freeman on the bench gets 29, which is solid, but doesn’t count, obviously. The other issue is 4 quality RB’s with the ability to start only 2. So while Peterson and Matthews perform admirably, Matt Forte and his 205 rushing yards are left to rot on the bench. Just saying. The ZB’s (3-1) get an uninspiring effort from their roster, yet they didn’t need one as they cruise to a 117-82 win.

Not Anorexic

I wanted to focus on the word ‘Perspective’ this week, as it can provide some relief, tension, exhaltation and angst.
For instance… (This is for the conspiracy theorists in the league) The 3 Zaller teams have all faced teams that have scored only 502, 497 & 485 for an average per game of 126, 124 & 121. Whereas the Pigeons & Poor Jared have faced teams that have scored 617 & 606 which averages out per/game to 154 & 152. PERSPECTIVE. The flip side of that, or the other perspective is of course, even if Poor, Poor Jared’s foes hadn’t lit him up, time and time again, his team has only scored 491 pts or 122 points p/game. Whereas a team like The Majestic Peacocks is just good. They are similar to the Patroits in that the lowest points scored for 4 weeks is 145 in a solid win. They have squeaked out two wins, one by 4 points and another by 2 points, but over the course of this season, a win is a win is a win.

In closing, Perspective allows us the ability to see that a 1-3 or 0-4 isn’t a death sentence…yet. Injured players, shortened preseason and training camps equaling slower starts, etc. Easier schedules in the fantasy league and also easier schedules for your star players in real life.
Also, Bye Weeks are starting in week 5, so in PERSPECTIVE, you may luck out and play a team who has a star on BYE.

Certainly, not my best effort this week. I’m fighting a cold, I’m tired, my feet hurt, I had to come out to work on Sunday for effin* nonsense… So I am writing this in a sour mood. Oh well, next week should be better. Until then. Bite me.

The Perspective – Fantasy Football – Week 2 Recap and basic lampooning of teams and players

The Perspective – Fantasy Football – Week 2 Recap and basic lampooning of teams and players

CARNAGE. That is the best word I can think of to summarize the first two weeks of the season.

Get Jamaal some Tiger's Blood! STAT!!!

The list of injuries grows weekly, but the fish on this list keep getting bigger!
Peyton Manning
Jamaal Charles
Arian Foster
Tony Romo
Mike Vick
Miles Austin
Marques Colston
… Just to name a few…

Which leads me to the focus of this weeks recap. Position players. WR. RB. I thought all along, this league was simply about Quarterbacks ONLY. The other players were nice, but insignificant. Like hanging dice from the rearview mirror of your Lambo. Boy was I wrong, and D-Long and his Majestic Peacocks were more then merciful in doling out this knowledge.

Debbie Downer

Recapping the matchups from the highest scoring team/matchup down the list, we first come to the aforementioned Peacocks.

Fly, peacock, Fly!
The Majestic Peacocks – 219 Where my Blitzes at? – 153
Even with another solid showing from Blitzes, garnering 153 points. This week the P-cocks were the Tractor Trailer and the Blitzes were the armadillo. Vincent “Vega” Jackson and Fitzy were off the chain scoring almost as many points as the QB’s, whereas the flipside of that equation for the Blitzes was watching Mario Manningham drop every other pass thrown his way. Why did I draft a black guy named Mario??? As for D-Long and his P-cocks. His Beef strong. 2-0 and marching towards his 3rd win. The Blitzes are regrouping after a minor setback and hoping that Romo takes his multivitamin and puts some duct tape on his lung hole and plays on Monday night, because no one, and I mean, NO ONE, wants to see Matt Cassel starting.

WHATCHOO TALKIN BOUT HILLIS – 167 Team WTF!!! – 66
Let’s get a little perspective here. Was this an epic beatdown. Yes, it was. Was this possibly one of the worst performances by a fantasy team in the history of this league. Indeed, this was nearly the worst if not the worst of all time! Finally, is there hope for Team WTF!!?? Yep, there is hope. And prayer. And Holistic Medicine and JuJu Beads and rabbits feet and psychic palm readers and…I digress. My point is simply this, had WTF started a few other players in place of some underachievers this week, he could have scored approximately 60+ more points and this would have been a respectable loss instead of the “We’ve Got A Bleedaaah!” scene that occurred. “Franks and Beans!” (Fast forward to :55 seconds)
HILLIS was balanced across the board, with almost every player (Bench included) scoring in double digits. 1-1 after a slow start, Hillis has the chance to put a nice stretch together, whereas WTF!! needs to figure out WTF they’re gonna do to right the ship.

PREEZEE DUZIT – 148 ZALLA’S BALLA’s – 147.
Ooooooooooohhhhhhhh! Boom goes the dynamite. I don’t think we will have another come from behind 1 point win for the rest of the season. This was amazing! PD sat Cam Newton and yet every other player he sat was correct! Sometimes things just happen, regardless of the choices made, players started, etc… Both teams will be ok moving forward and I feel ZB’s will recover just fine as they have scored a good amount of points as a team. Sometimes, the other team just scores more… (See Majestic Peacocks for reference!!)
We like to imagine PD’s sitting on the couch, realizing that a win was possible and the following happening…
PD’s face a 2-0 team that I have no idea how they are 2-0. While ZB’s face Blitzes in what should be a close contest!

NOTLOOSINGTOOMYWIFETHISTIME – 131 A RIVERS Runs through it – 123
Look, after last week, I was thinking we give Jared a 15 point head start each week, in lieu of being the worst team last season, having to watch Notre Dame get manhandled at home against USF, live, during the draft, but then Notre Dame beat Michigan State and my empathy went out the window. This was as winnable a matchup as RIVERS could have asked for. Alas, Kenny Britt was riding the pine, again… Arian Foster is just killing RIVERS while making Ben Tate relevant… No one else, save for the QB’s is showing much sign of life. This could get ugly, long term. WifeLooser just lost Jamaal Charles to a season ending ACL injury, but they have a capable replacement, plus JC hadn’t done anything this season anyhow and WifeLooser is 2-0…Scratching my head…

Recap of the 2011 Siesta Key Triathlon – MultiRace Sprint/Olympic Distances

Recap of the 2011 Siesta Key Triathlon - MultiRace Sprint/Olympic Distances

Getting called to a higher (Gear)...Power.

WARNING – This article is full of swagger and lots of self-confidence. You’ve been fully warned.

This was not going to be just any little sprint race. Not this time. I learned my lesson the week before at the Englewood Triathlon. After finishing 7th out of 18 in my age group, and reviewing the splits and times, I realized that, had I taken the race more seriously and focused on performance and not solely improving my triathlon tan, then a Podium finish (top 3) was a real (albeit difficult) possibility.

So using that motivation in looking forward to the Siesta Key Triathlon, I was amped on a confident knowledge that I could perform better, but also stewing on the anxiety of knowing only I could actually apply the training I had been diligently completing and harnessing the lessons I had learned along the way. I replayed these scenarios through my mind as I drove down Midnight Pass Road with a small armada of vehicles following me to the Siesta parking lot or as I would have you believe… the location of the final battle scene!

Sarasota Storm!

Berster hard at work! Safety & Speed First!

4 Markers!! Ambidextrous Shenanigans!

I parked my truck, gathered all my triathlon gear, my Kestrel (Nikita) and made my way over to the transition area. Awaiting our arrival was the usually excitable Nicole Chapman and sometimes stoic Andrew Berster, respectively. They were already body marking at warp speed! The other Usual Suspects were there, always ready with a supportive boost, light jab or competitive barb, including Carl Knutsson, Sarah Senter, John LeTourneau, Ren Schrock among so many others… <Click Here to see pictures of those other people rocking it at the race!>

As we meandered down the soft silky sands of Siesta to the shoreline, an interesting dynamic was taking place. The Olympic distance competitors were starting on the South end of the main beach, while the Sprint and Duathlon racers were going to start near the North end of the main beach. I imagine this would create some overlap, but all in all, it seemed to work out pretty well. As we were entering the gulf to begin our sprint swim, some of the olympic swimmers were headed our way as well, but just like a school of fish in the open water, we all assimilated and continued towards our goal.

Deceiving waters of the Gulf await!

For me, the swim was solid, although it was congested to start with some beginners swimming all over the place, so I made an immediate decision to go wide and swim near the beach bouys and just keep a strong pace. 7:00 minute swim time was satisfactory for me and soon enough my feet felt sand and I was running towards the shore.

Pic by Nicole Chapman

Out of the water, up on the beach, and pacing ourselves to the transition area to gather our reliable and sexy steeds and begin the 13 to 26 mile trek down to Turtle Beach and back again, and for some…again! This was a fun portion of the race for me, as I felt great and basically stayed just right of the center lines, passing a slew of people. Lately my biking has gotten stronger and in doing so, it makes for a much more enjoyable race as passing people is obviously and logically more satisfying then being passed. At least for me, but in doing so, I didn’t realize that I was easily PR’ing my biking split time and mph by a couple of minutes, which for 13 miles is nothing to shake a stick at. I did hear some unnerving news about a few riders taking some spills and the course was packed with so many riders, vehicle traffic and a compacted course, but then again, I was going so damn fast, I didn’t feel any effects of that nature. (Embarrassed from lack of humility!) 33:03 = 22.5 mph/avg which for me is a PR and 12th overall on the bike = Yay for me!

After crushing the bike course, I dismounted and promptly switched shoes and made sure to leave my helmet next to my bike… (I’m looking at you Stephen Groth!) …and headed off to the sands of Siesta… Did I mention they are silky and soft, which makes laying out a wonderful thing to do… But running through it can be a little bit tedious and on most beaches, Siesta included, you tend to be running at about a 15% angle. (Thank goodness one leg is shorter then the other!)

Mr. Always passes me on the run, Kowalski!

So on the run, my buddy (aka – always catches and passes me on the run, Kowalski) shows up on my radar as I am doubling back from just making the turn at the halfway point of the 3.1 mile run and he is approximately 20-30 seconds behind me… catching up a little bit with each quick strike of his maddening pace! I made my deal with the running devil earlier and it was to run as far as I could without stopping, but eventually the lure of a couple cups of water at around the 2 mile mark was too much for my parched psyche and so I relinquished and quenched my thirst with one cup and drenched my large steaming noggin with the other! This was just the opening that Mr. Kowalski needed and sure enough, with about 1 mile left, he graciously passed on my left and begin his normal and methodical pull away…

But not today… Today I was not going to let him beat me badly on the run. I quickened my pace, just focusing on the ground in front of me and trying not too look up, or at my watch or at anything other then the back of Mark’s shoes as I kept about 4 feet between us. It was a thing of beauty, in that watching a fighter who battles all fight, only to get knocked down near the end of the fight and continually struggles to beat the 8 count, but repeatedly gets up… again and again. Just like that. Ok, maybe thats a little too much Rocky versus The Russian, but I digress.

As we headed up the grassy path to the picnic/transition/finish line area, Mark had opened a wider gap and although my lungs were burning and my legs packed full of Lactic acid, there was a moment, where it all just went away and I fought to find that final gear… It finally kicked in and with all the dignity and vinegar I could muster, I crossed that finish line 0:00:00:56 behind Mark Kowalski and he helped me finish 27th overall out of 280 sprint racers. Not world record stuff, but a step in the right direction.

Podium!!!

After I got some water, watermelon, a turkey sandwich and an apple crumb muffin dropped from the heavens, I headed over the to the MultiRace camper where they had flatscreen TV’s affixed to one side which posted automatic times from the race. It showed I was in 2nd place in my group, which meant if the times held, I would grab my first Podium and actual award Hardware, ever!?! I was psyched. Please let the times hold. It took me a few minutes to realize that logically, everyone finishing behind me would be slower and when reality finally took hold, a nice contentment took over. I was gonna savor this moment for all it was worth.

After taking the podium, having such great support from friends and other triathletes, I get it. I understand why we do it. For me, it was and will always be ok to finish in the middle of the pack, enjoying the race, the scenery and the camaraderie. But I get it. It felt great to stand on that podium and smile for the camera phones and to proudly hold the award up.

Apparently now, I have to do it again.

Yikes!

Some shots of other podium winners!

Just Do-ing It.

Fantasy Football Week 11 Recap & Week 12 Angels & Demons Picks!

turkey_glove

Fantasy Football Week 11 Recap & Week 12 Angels & Demons Picks!

First & Foremost a solid week from quite a few players, some expected & others a nice surprise or disappointing disappointment? Double Negative = Super Positive…. Negative.

pic via alicia-logic.com constantine angel

I highlighted some Angels for week 11 including;
Drew Brees – 39 points
Peyton Manning – 37 points
Peyton Hillis – 21 pts
Aaron Rodgers – 39 pts
Mark Sanchez – 31 pts
Jon Kitna – 31 pts
Mojo Drew – 25 pts
Larry Fitzgerald – 17 pts

DEMONS

As for my predicted Demons/ Stinkers
I warned Dustin Keller, that if he dropped a deuce or less, he would be on the waiver wire. Check the waiver. Bye.

Pierre, Pierre – 5 catches for 60+ yards. Ehhh. With Austin Collie & Dallas Clark out, Blair White catches 2 TD’s and Pierre leaves us wanting. I’ll call that a disappointing result.

Matt Schaub scored his 5th highest total of the season. Now that statement can be interpreted a few ways, but reality is this. This was his lowest double digit scoring amount of the season, and he has played in 10 games and his highest total is 36 pts. All in all, a subpar performance for a subpar season.

We were down on Adrian peterson and he scored 8 pts. SPOT ON!

We were down on Ahmad Bradshaw, but no one expected ZERO points. OY VEY.
2nd down segue – Brandon Jacobs, although if you actually started BJac, then you have other issues. = 3 pts.

Alright, while it was nice to enjoy the accolades, I must call myself out as well.
Some misses I called.

I was shaky on Big Ben and of course he is the high scorer of the week with 40 big ones!

My Angels that tossed their hypothetical halo’s into the stands with half of their jersey (we are looking at you Vince Young!)

Dez Bryant - 6 pts = FAIL especially with Kitna scoring 31 pts.
Kyle Orton – 7 pts = Miserable, especially playing San Diego. I guess that 5-5 Chargers records doesn’t really reflect their #2 Defense ranking!
LaGarrette Blount – 8 pts = So-so for this New Kid on The Block. It would have been nice to see him plow into the endzone instead of Cadillac Williams, but 8 pts is so-so.

As far as my Demons who DID WORK!
Michael Turner – 21 points
Cedric Benson – 20 points
LeSean McCan’t – 25 pts

Now that I’ve taken my lumps, this looks to be a promising week, albeit short and immediate with 3 Turducken Day Games and a mish mash of sunday games as well! So recapping last weeks predictions and actual scores and then delving into quick predictions for this weeks games, I will also briefly touch on some Angels and Demons for this week as well. Let’s do this!

Predictions

SO FRESH & SO CLEAN – 134 ROOSTER 125

ACTUAL SCORE – SF&SC – 148 Rooster – 99

CALVIN & DA MUNKS – 135 M&R, INC. – 121

ACTUAL SCORE – M&R, INC – 143 C&TC – 115

BIG BENBOWSKI – 115 CASSEL FIT FOR A KING – 105

ACTUAL SCORE – BB – 144 CFFAK – 70 OUCH!

HOT TUB – 111 TEAM EV – 109

ACTUAL SCORE – EV – 142 CIGAHT – 133 – Why would I pick against EV??? 5 in a row!

TEAM RC – 126 BLEEDING – 106

ACTUAL SCORE – RC – 125 Towelie – 109

pic via mirerror.deviantart.com good_vs_evil_angel

This week has some interesting ANGELS & DEMONS but I’ll just pick a handful of Angels.

Frank Gore versus Arizona Defense on MOnday Night. Gore the Redeemer!

Chris Johnson at Houston Texans. YeeHaw!

Sidney Rice against Washington Redskins D! Gobble Gobble Goo, Gobble Gobble Spice Redskins D sucks so Big points for Sidney Rice!

The NYJ vs. The Bungles. Although we have a sneaking suspicion that the T.Ochocinco’s show up and play reasonably good futbol, but either Sanchez or LT does extremely well, with a leaning towards Sanchez, as he has the ability to utilize more weapons and touch the ball more.

Big Ben battling Buffalo. I won’t make the same mistake twice. Big Ben destroys Buffalo and then hits the town for Turkey Trot at the local pubs? Maybe? No.

Little Fat Man Mike Tolbert looks primed to run and catch his way to big points against Indy’s superflous D. BIG MONEY!!!

Ray Rice! If Ray Rice gets tackled in the Forrest and no one notices, did it actually happen? This week, we think he makes people notices as he racks up yards and TD’s! Sans Willis McGahee vulturing or ravening scores from him.

Eli Manning facing the Jagz Defense. Retribution is coming and it looks like teal and gold! Sorry Jacksonville.

Peyton Hillis against Carolina. Wow. Its a good thing Jamal Lewis set a high bar for the Browns rushing record, otherwise I could see Peyton challenging it this week. It’s gonna be bad. For Carolina.

I say, I say. I do Declare, Peyton Manning will prevail in the matchup of the top two QB’s. Phillip Rivers will perform, but Peyton will have another week of practice with Blair White and maybe another healthy RB or 2, and that’s all this Fantasy Football Points Zombie needs. Mmmmmmm… Delicious Brains!

Week 12 Predictions & Prognostications

3-2 last week for 15-15 overall. Ehhhh.

Manning & Rivers, inc. – 145 Rooster – 101

Cassel Fit for a King – 122 Calvin & Da Munks – 121 – If Dwayne Bowe starts, Calvins total points go to 123 and we have a winner!

So Fresh & So Clean – 149 Team RC – 148 I can’t believe I’m picking against RC again. Last time, they dropped 161 points on our pointy heads!

Throwing in the Towelie – 123 Can I get a Hot Tub – 99 If TITT gets a Defense he adds another 10 points to the totals!

Big Benbowski – 129 Team EV’s All-Stars – 111 This is the week that EV hits the wall in the sense that Bowski brings the Hammer. Not his crime fighting cohort The Hebrew Hammer, but the metophorical hammer that pounds a nail in the 5 game winning streak coffin. Harsh. I know.

john-madden

I am hopeful that John Madden guest hosts Thanksgiving football, but I am scared it will be Cris Collinsworth, and that is the one thing I hope to be thankful for. The rest of the stuff is easy. Family, Friends, Health, Arian Foster, etc…

Have a Happy Turducken Day! To my Jewish friends, enjoy the days off and join me in singing, “Turkey in the oven & buns in the toaster, ill never take down my Alyssa Milano poster….” ~ Sandler

Peace, I’m out.

~ Kelevra

Fantasy Football Week 11 Predictions and Prognostications

Anchorman__Channel_4_News_Team_by_Kelevra

Fantasy Football Week 11 Predictions and Prognostications

Ron Burgundy: I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone: Really.
Ron Burgundy: People know me.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, I’m very happy for you.
Ron Burgundy: I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Well, after the complete beat down performed by record setting Team RC (161 team points), I am going to ease into this weekly Angels & Demons section. Dip a toe in the water, if you will.

My Angels for this week.
Drew Brees against Seattle after a Bye Week. I’ll take 2 scoops! Shaun Hill against a Dallas Defense that gives out touchdowns to opposing QB’s, like Jehovahs Witnesses give out flyers on the Boardwalk.

Carson palmer grow his vulture wings and feast off the carcass of Buffalo whether they win a nail biter or get demolished. I think it’s a nail biter and Carson throws some INT’s along with TD’s.
Peyton Hillis should DO WORK against run friendly Jags D.

Rashard Mendenhall against Oakland Run D. Yesssss Sir! Calvin aka MEGATRON Johnson against Dallas Defense… See Shaun Hill notes above.

Peyton Manning (The original Peyton or the O.P.) against porous NE Pats D. Same old Peyton! LaGarette Blount against 49ers. Normally Bucs don’t do well on West Coast, but I think this new regime has completely shaken any old curses.

Matt Cassel vs. Phoenix Redbirds. Advantage Cassel. Dez Bryant seems to like his hazings doled out by Kitna and there will be blood. Lions blood. As Dez should go off.

Kyle Orton against San Diego equals FF goodness! Larry Fitzgerald is ripe to devour this week.

Aaron Rodgers against Minnesota seems like as good a way as any to come back after a refreshing bye week. We think the rest did the Mustachioed Rodgers good. Mark Sanchez gets the Houston Texans worst ranked defense to come to town. Are you kidding me? He is gonna do work.

Flacco versus Carolina Kitties who are starting a 3rd string RB, and a 4th string QB. Flacco will be pulled by the 3rd qtr as the Ravens will be ahead by 30 pts.
MoJo Drew is going to have a good day catching the ball against surprisingly good run defense in Cleveland.

Tom Brady is going to have to throw a lot against Indy high octane offense in this matchup. Kind of iffy on Sam Bradford. He will probably get double digits in FF points but were are guessing low teens as Atlanta is a solid defense and his WR corp is thin.

Fool us once, shame on you, Fool us twice and we suck. David Garrard is going to throw all day on Cleveland and light the Cuyahoga back on Fire! Jon Kitna will have a decent day against Detroit, although I fathom he may have the paw print of SUH on his helmet by the time this game is over.
I can only pick two players off RC’s roster so I’m done, but I am staring longingly with a crush as her roster is stacked! Gonna be another good week.

Demons include;

Is Dustin Keller really going to drop another stinker on us, even against “It’s your offenses birthday” Texans D? If he does, he will find himself surfing the wire.

Is this the week Mike Vick gets stopped, throws an INT, is discovered to have sent Brett Favre a text? We think the NYG’s game plan a bit better and maybe a slipup here or there for Vick but all in all not too bad. Pierre Garcon on the other hand… We have no words….Oh yeah, I guess we do… CATCH THE BALL!

Matt Schaub at the Jets. Oh Lawd have Mercy. Stay Away. Schaub is toast this year and other then an easy game peppered in too make you forget how terrible he has been, the stink grows.
We think Adrian Peterson has a tough go of things this week facing a rested, stingy Packers Defense.

We are down on Ahmad Bradshaw, although we think he does ok because of his pass catching skills, but its going to be tough running, unless Philly repeats and Bradshaw grosses points in garbage time.
Big Ben against Oakland. Im getting queasy just thinking about this one. Ben seems shaky as he has underperformed in his last few games and although this looks to be a fantasy point rich matchup, maybe in the run dept, but not the pass.

Screw it. LeSean McCoy because I hate him. Loathe him. He is the debbil. We asked this question last week and the answer was, surprisingly “NO!” If Cedric Benson hasn’t produced yet, he has to against the RB friendly defense of 1-8 Buffalo, right?

Mike “Turner the Burner” against surprising ST. Louie D and Brandon Jacobs against Philly.. NO to both…. NO X 2.… No Squared…. Nyet…
Unsure about Steven Jackson against ATL D. We’ll hedge our bets and say minimal performance.

SO FRESH & SO CLEAN – 134 ROOSTER 125

CALVIN & DA MUNKS – 135 M&R, INC. – 121

BIG BENBOWSKI – 115 CASSEL FIT FOR A KING – 105

HOT TUB – 111 TEAM EV – 109

TEAM RC – 126 BLEEDING – 106

Mike McDermott: “Fold or hang tough. Call or raise the bet. These are decisions you make at the table. Sometimes the odds are stacked so clear there’s only one way to play it. Other times, like holding a small pair against two over cards, it’s six to five, or even money, either way. Then it’s all about feel, what’s in your guts.“

From Anchorman!
Brian Fantana: [about Veronica] I’ll give this little cookie an hour before we’re doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
[opens cologne cabinet]
Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard’s Delight.
Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne… It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.

I realize now, through your vigil and vitriol filled letters that I am not Matthew Berry but kind of like a Tall Bill Simmons, which is flattering like calling a small Killer Whale a Porpoise. It hurts bro, it hurts. Have a good week, and good luck to all the athletes competing in Ironman Arizona! Go Sarasota Storm!